Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.
When a young New Zealand man came out to his church leader as gay, he was sat down and told that however he identified was perfect in the eyes of God. He was told that his church was an extension of his family, and they loved him — unconditionally — no matter what. Wait… no, I’m sorry that didn’t happen. His church leader sent him to a doctor who prescribed hormone therapy to chemically castrate him. Yeah, that’s the Christian love… Read more
Who needs a giggle? Behold! [Opens with sad piano music] Man: Hey honey! How are ya? Woman: Fine. I guess. Man: What’s going on? Woman: Well, Obama is trying to force gay marriage on this country. That’s not the change I voted for. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Man: That’s not the change I voted for either. Woman: What can we do? [Sudden weirdly upbeat music] Man: We can vote for someone with values. The emotionally manipulative music! The… Read more
Dear Seven-year-old Me, Don’t get older. Because the people you thought were cool also get older and, invariably, crazier. Walker, Texas Ranger hates gay people. Mike Seaver hates science (and also gay people). And Victoria Jackson is not only certifiably insane but the worst kind of vicious. You will never ride in a car with her and Toonces the Driving Cat with Phil Hartman narrating (Phil Hartman is a whole other heartbreak). NEVER! Love, Adult Me … Ugh, Victoria Jackson. The hours… Read more
Over the last couple of weeks, we have found The Line that even conservative conservatives won’t cross. When Todd Akin tried to explain Female Anatomy for Psychopaths, a fair chunk of his own party was all “Dude… cool it!” There are some things that you really just shouldn’t try to defend or justify. Another one of those Lines that you shouldn’t cross? Raping kids. You really shouldn’t try to spin that. Apparently Bill Donohue (head of the Catholic League) did not get… Read more
Ah, victim blaming. The age-old technique to allow rapists and molesters to shirk off responsibility for their actions. We hear a lot of this in regards to cases of “legitimate rape” (as it is so sweetly referred to by old idiotic men) when the woman was clearly asking for it… You know how it sounds: “Did you see how short her skirt was? She totally wanted it” or “I could literally see her whole arm. What did she expect, wearing a tank-top… Read more
