Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.
Today, during my lunch break, I walked out of my building in downtown Chicago to meet a friend across the river. It’s pretty chilly up here, but there were some young ladies handing out carnations on the sidewalk. For some reason, I have a hard time not taking crap that is handed to me… which is how I ended up with a yellow carnation with this card attached to it: Read more
Ladies and gentleman, this may surprise you, but I was not always the wildly successful part-time freelance writer you see before you today. There were many years of my life where I made my living waiting tables. I was a server, my boyfriend was a server, my brother was a server, most of my friends have been servers, all of my servers have been servers. I’m surrounded by the noble men and women of the service industry. As a result, nothing raises my hackles quite like bad tippers. Especially passive-aggressive bad tippers who justify their behavior with faith: Read more
Sometimes, I hear a conversation so awful that I just don’t know how to respond. This is one of those times. But I’m going to try, anyway. Here is a clip of two idiotic, misogynistic, small-minded numbskulls who (because the world just isn’t fair) have a radio show of their very own with, I guess, people who listen to it: The only reason I would recommend actually listening to it is, if you read the transcription — and yes, I painstakingly and painfully transcribed the whole damn thing — and think, “Well, Jessica is making crap up again; Clearly no one could be this dumb!” you’ll realize the error of your ways. Truth is stupider than fiction. Read more
