Pastor: When I Was Bullied as a Kid, I Prayed, and My Bully Ended Up in Crutches

Right-wing pastor Perry Stone — who’s best known for checking his phone while speaking in tongues, claiming to speak four languages at once (also in tongues), for delivering a sermon to a bunch of puppets, and going on sabbatical from his church after acting “inappropriately” with women in his ministry — wants you to know he was bullied as a child.

There’s nothing amusing about bullying. It’s actually hard to hear some of the stories he shared during a broadcast yesterday of being a victim as a child. But near the end of that segment, he also talked about how he got revenge against the kids who picked on him… with the help of Jesus.

… I had a guy bullying me one time. Big old boy pushed me up against the locker and I just turned and I said, “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus! I bind you in the name of Jesus!”

And he just looked at me, started laughing. Well, it was like the next day or two days later, he came and he had casts on both of his legs, walking with crutches. And I said, “Man, dude, what happened to you?” He said, “Get away from me! Get away from me! You put a hex on me!”

I said, “I put a hex on you?”

He said, “Yes, you did.”

I said, “Well, what happened?”

He said, “Well, I was passing your house” — he lived in my neighborhood — and he said “I shot the bird” — that’s what he told me — “towards you, and when I turned the corner, I wrecked my motorcycle and hurt both my knees.”

And I said, “See what you get? You shouldn’t have messed with somebody who’s a believer!”

And he never messed with me again! I think he was afraid of that!

In another story, he says he shouted some Christian gibberish at other bullies and they also ran away.

So there you have it, kids. Pray to Jesus and your bullies will either run away or end up in physical pain. Yay…? So much for turning the other cheek.

It’s not that Stone is suggesting violence is the answer. He even says after that story he’s not suggesting others should imitate him in that situation. But he does imply that being a Christian will somehow protect you — which it won’t. Having faith won’t stop bullying; for all we know, those bullies are Christians too. We’re all too familiar with how adult bullies routinely cite their faith.

(Thanks to Kyle for the link)