Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.
Suppose you’re a parent in Malaysia and you’re thinking to yourself, “I really think my kid might be gay, but I have no handy checklist to assist me in my prognosis! What will I do?” Worry no more! The Malaysian Education Ministry has come to the rescue! They have released a helpful “How-To” guide to help you identify the homosexuals: I have a couple questions, as I feel like their guide is far from comprehensive. First of all, how the hell… Read more
Is there anything funnier than when you get your words all jumbled up? Like when you try to say “butternut squash” and it comes out “squtternut bosh”?! Classic comedy! Or, like, when you say, “Yeah, I’ve been paying rent to live in this church-owned and tax-exempt house since 2008.” But what you really meant to say was, “No, I most certainly do not pay rent to live in this house.” Tears! I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard…. Read more
Pat Robertson is still the worst, everyone! Today, on the 700 Club, he was giving out his sterling advice to a man with marital problems: My wife has become a real problem. She has no respect for me as the head of the house. She insults me and she even went as far as stretching her hand to beat me. I’ve lost my self confidence. Her words hurt so much and she refuses to talk through our problems. Please tell me what I… Read more
On Tuesday, about 200 women in Lahore, Pakistan rallied for their right to wear a hijab — a scarf that covers a woman’s hair and neck — in public. They carried signs like “My niqab, my right” and “Hijab empowers women” and “Hijab is our identity.” Which is great. I mean, I have my own issues with women feeling obligated to cover themselves, sure. And there are some logistical issues with security and identification with not being able to see someones face… Read more
Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has voiced his support for gay marriage. So yay! Reverend and Democratic Maryland delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. does not support gay marriage. And he was “appalled and aghast” at the gall of Ayanbadejo so much so that he sent owner of the Ravens, Steve Bisciotti, an official letter of outrage. That’s right, guys. Mr. Burns is pissed. Eeeexcellent. I am requesting that you take the necessary action, as a National Football Franchise Owner, to inhibit such expressions… Read more
