Christian blogger and professional mommy-shamer Lori Alexander (a.k.a. “The Transformed Wife”) came to notoriety by trashing feminism. But the more you read her thoughts about it, the more it becomes clear that she doesn’t have a clear definition of “feminism.” She just uses it as a catch-all term to describe whatever liberal views she’s talking about.
It’s all straw men women. It’s also toxic theology.
So when a woman recently contacted her to ask if there was scriptural backup for her claim that feminism is “Satanic,” Alexander offered some cherry picked verses describing what a woman ought to be like — sober, husband-loving, child-loving, discreet, chaste, homemakers, obedient, pious — then claimed anything outside very conservative interpretations of those words fit the bill.
Have you ever heard feminists teaching women to remain sober? Sober doesn’t only refer to not drinking much alcohol, but also being sober minded. “Not mad or insane; not wild, visionary or heated with passion; having the regular exercise of cool dispassionate reason.” Feminists are NOT sober minded. They are fueled by their emotions, feelings, and passions. You can clearly see this in my comment section on Facebook. God’s ways repulse them, since His ways are the opposite of what they’ve been taught all of their lives.
Her comment section is heated because she’s regularly brash, dismissive, and refuses to engage seriously with other points of view. It’s understandable to be upset if your views are being deliberately twisted, as Alexander frequently does. Also, everyone is fueled by their emotions and feelings.
Have you ever heard feminists teaching women to love their husbands? No. They teach women if they aren’t “happy” in marriage, then leave and divorce him. They will use the word “abuse” liberally for any woman who doesn’t like the way their husbands treats them, even if there is no abuse. They make all women victims in marriage. If you don’t want to give him sex, then don’t. If someone teaches women to not deprive their husbands sexually, they yell, “Marital rape!” They teach wives that they’re lives are NOT going to revolve around their husband’s lives, because they fought for independence from men.
Nowhere in the Feminist Playbook™ does it mandate that married women must not love husbands.
Her statement is even scarier when you realize she dismisses all kinds of alleged abuse in relationships; in her mind, if a husband wants sex, a wife is obligated to offer her body to him no matter what she’s dealing with. She regularly encourages women to tolerate mistreatment because anything is better than getting a divorce. It should go without saying that there are plenty of happily married feminists, but Alexander isn’t about to look for them.
Have you ever heard feminists teaching women to love their children? NO! They want women to have “freedom” and careers, and put their children into government paid daycare and public schools to be indoctrinated in Marxism and Feminism.
Sending your kids to daycare or public school is not synonymous with hate. And maybe readers can let me know of any of these schools that indoctrinate toddlers with Marxism.
Feminism and parenthood have never been mutually exclusive. Loving your children and having a career aren’t exclusive either. In her mind, women who are anything but homeschoolers are failures.
Do feminists teach women to be discreet? Discreet means “Prudent; wise in avoiding errors or evil, and in selecting the best means to accomplish a purpose; circumspect; cautious, wary; not rash.” No! They teach them to attend college, amass a ton of debt that will keep them in bondage for years, and then go work for a boss many years to pay off the debt.
So… she’s for tuition-free college then? Shocking.
While there are plenty of legitimate criticisms of higher education, claiming that it’s always a bad idea because it costs money isn’t one of then. Not everyone who goes to college acquires debt. And some careers require college degrees — which brings us to Alexander’s next (and possibly biggest) beef with feminism:
They certainly don’t teach women to be keepers at home… They have such a repulsion to this teaching that it makes it hard for women like me to even teach it. I was actually forbidden from teaching it in one church, since it would offend the career women. Imagine caring more about offending women than having women learn God’s will for them.
As we’ve said many times before, in response to Alexander’s claims, many families simply can’t afford to live on just one income (even without student loans to pay off). The world in which Alexander was (and could be) a stay-at-home mom simply does not exist anymore, for many women, and likely never will again. Furthermore, contrary to her beliefs, there are valid reasons to believe that the Proverbs 31 woman had a career.
Unlike Christianity, there are no doctrines or creeds to feminism beyond the belief that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men. It’s a big tent and there are disagreements within it, but Alexander, as usual, ignores nuance and just assumes the worst about all women who aren’t exactly like her.
If she doesn’t like it when she’s lumped into the broader category of toxic Christians, she should stop doing the same to everyone who identifies as feminists.
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