Kobus van Rensburg, Christian ‘Prophet’ Who Preached Immortality, Is Dead (and Not Coming Back)

I just learned that the self-described prophet, faith healer, and televangelist Kobus van Rensburg, a fixture on South Africa’s evangelical scene, has joined the choir invisible. His earthly departure is a bit odd for a man who spent his whole adult life preaching that with Jesus on your side, and with enough faith, you’re literally immortal.

According to his ministry life and death is a choice, and people can choose to live forever without dying at all.

Alhough van Rensburg had been battling cancer for a long time, and his doctors had given up hope, his true-blue followers were convinced that their prophet would never kick the bucket — and that if he did, his faith and their prayers would swiftly resurrect him.

Their optimism was palpable, and remained so. When news of his death filtered out, van Rensburg fan Jacqueline Christ Mbayiwa Makuvatsine opined on his Facebook page:

The greatest miracle of our time is about to happen, the Prophet is gonna live aaaaw I cant wait for that moment man, what a Mighty God we serve!

Qamar Fakhoury agreed:

Thank you Jesus for this great miracle we are waiting for, it’s happening now in Jesus name, amen.

The spirit was also strong in Grandson Nyirenda:

The greatest shocking testimony is about to take place, the true life of Jesus is about to be revealed to them that dont believe in immortality, The Prophet is gonna stand up and all the devils and demons will burn with shock.

Somehow, though, all that fervent belief didn’t matter, and van Rensburg succumbed to cancer at 61.

“I believed he could rise up until his coffin was lowered,”

… his son Kobus Jr. commented after the funeral.

He said that his father awakened six times after he was declared clinically dead.

So there’s that.

Already, many among van Rensburg’s flock have decided that in fact, their prophet does live — his body may be worm food, but his spirit is totally immortal, so there.

While they and the family work through their grief, Kobus Junior has bravely taken over the family business. This is what he posted on his father’s Facebook page three days before the prophet’s death:

Just like his immortal dad, Junior will go far.

Bob Jase

You’re impatient, give the guy a few millenia to see if he returns.
Rob P

No, no, he’s resting. There. He moved. You stunned him. He’s just pining for the fjords! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE
Fargofan1

There’s always a cop-out. He died? Oh, but his spirit lives forever. You weren’t healed? It’s your own fault for lacking faith. Jesus didn’t return when we thought He would? Someone must have prayed for more time, or something. Whatever.
WallofSleep

Wasn’t it Faith No More that once declared “Shit lives forever”? Why yes, yes it was…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfE-fs45sLM
chicago dyke

religion makes people say, think and do a lot of crazy things, but this is one i’ve never been able to understand- why do people follow these charlatans who make such obviously impossible claims and who then go on to prove the falseness of them so finally?

i can see a believer believing in the end of the world, or angels and demons, even an afterlife. but immortality? it’s not like faith in any god has EVER prevented terminal illness and/or aging. how dumb do you have to be to believe someone is immortal when the signs of impending death are as obvious as terminal cancer?
The Other Weirdo

Just like his immortal dad, Junior will go far.

But not further than this life. Just like the rest of us.
KMR

He has sequins on his jacket. Come on.
Art_Vandelay

Moving goal posts is an art form for the faithful. So much easier than admitting you were wrong or even worse…you’ve been huckstered.
tubi11

No, he’s not. He’s been nailed to his perch.
tubi11

Ha! The wikipedia page linked above is clearly unofficial. The only fact sourced is the news of his death. And his bio includes these gems:

“Kobus Van Rensburg was born to a God-fearing mother. His father left at an early age, since his mother refused to “put out” on a regular basis.”

and,

“In 1971 he joined the South African Air Force and was soon transferred to the Navy…Kobus also mentions in his meetings that he was dismissed from the Navy, for being absolutely useless.”
tubi11

Ha! The wikipedia page linked above is clearly unofficial. The only fact sourced is the news of his death. And it includes these gems:

“Kobus van Rensburg was born to a God-fearing mother. His father left at an early age, since his mother refused to “put out” on a regular basis.”

“In 1971 he joined the South African Air Force and was soon transferred to the Navy…Kobus also mentions in his meetings that he was dismissed from the Navy, for being absolutely useless.”
paulalovescats

When I was 13 and my sister died at home at 15 of cancer, I heard her say later she had been expecting my sister to come back to life even after she was in the ambulance. I’m surprised I didn’t become an atheist then. Maybe that’s when I became an agnostic.
Madison Blane

Well, you know, it’s easy…once you accept that all doctors are satanic liars who are just out to steal your money and believe that science is just a liberal scam to convince people Jeebus doesn’t exist!
chicago dyke

heh, another blog i read has a Proud Tradition of fish puns.

but i won’t start that here. but i won’t try that here, i’d likely only flounder. 😉
tubi11

Good call. Don’t be a piker. :>
abb3w

Until the coffin was lowered? Not even waiting for three days afterward?
Mike De Fleuriot

Spelt it wrong, it’s immoral not immortal.
Matt Eggler

People like Kobus van Rensburg and Harold Camping are pure comedy gold. Unfortunately,a shadow is cast on my enjoyment of their wacky craziness by the fact that they cause real harm to vulnerable people.
Sneezeguard

I may not believe this guy would come back from the dead but I think it’d have been super cool if he had. Or at least super hilarious!
All us atheists would have to sit there gobsmacked staring at our computers and be like ‘Really? This guy… This guy was actually right? I mean… I mean he’s a tv evangelist with sequins on his jacket and he’s actually a prophet for god… man… now I’m going to have to listen to this guy!?’
Derrik Pates

Ah, Christian goalpost-shifting at its finest. When the thing you insist was gonna happen, doesn’t, just redefine it until you’re right! Or at least until you can’t be proven wrong. It’s never not worked before…
The Other Weirdo

Did no such thing.
zbowman

Not worth it, on the scale of things Better to put fin to it here.
WMDKitty — Survivor

‘E’s not dead, ‘e’s just sleepin’.
WMDKitty — Survivor

Oh, Cod, you hooked me with the puns!
WMDKitty — Survivor

Beat me to it. Damn.
diogeneslamp0

In 30 years, his followers will have an “eyewitness” story saying he was physically resurrected.

Happened with that other guy too.
Greg G.

I’d gill for a good fish pun right now.
WMDKitty — Survivor

Ask the folks upstream.
LizzyJessie

“His earthly departure is a bit odd for a man who spent his whole adult life preaching that with Jesus on your side, and with enough faith, you’re literally immortal.”

Obviously Jesus wasn’t on his side. He was too busy helping someone score a winning goal.
Paul Julian Gould

Nah… further upstream they’re just carping at each other and, frankly, it’s giving me a haddock…
Paul Julian Gould

… per Steve Martin,
on arriving much to one’s surprise, in heaven, only to find it really had guys with wings, playing harps, floating on clouds…

“Naaaaahhhh…. really???? In college they told us this was all bullshit!”
Paul Julian Gould

With all the bowl games, it’s the dude’s own fault he picked that particular day to assume room temperature…
Rob P

Oh bless my sole! Don’t go trouting out those puns here,
WMDKitty — Survivor

Anyone else got a wicked craving for fish fingers right now?
Paul Julian Gould

Fish have fingers? Damn! Who knew?

I think saw one… was a little silver dude on the back of someone’s Prius… had to have fingers, ’cause it was holding an open-end wrench… thought it was so cute how they named it… Darwin, I think it was…

oh… wait… wut?
LizzyJessie

Assume room temperature? I laughed at that more than I probably should have. Well worded! Well worded, indeed.
zbowman

Things are getting kinda tench.
Paul Julian Gould

/*courtly bow*/

Can’t claim originality, just applicability… /*grin*/
Jett Perrobone

There’s clearly nothing wrong with your herring, then.
Paul Julian Gould

Nope… but I started out listening just for the halibut, while taking a break from recording a bass track…
usclat

hee hee hee hee … 🙂 Nice!
Dan Robinson

Fish pun heaven…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l1GvDWtccI
Taneli Huuskonen

AFAIK, fish have fingers in Britain and sticks in America.
Fentwin

Doctor, it appears the patient has finally stabilized, they’re dead.
Kenneth Polit

The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.
Kenneth Polit

Or is it special pleading?
bismarket 1

They are going to be SO disappointed.
bismarket 1

Your skate-ing on thin ice now & it’s starting to make me crabby!
Paul Julian Gould

There’s a … ray… of truth in what you say, but we should allow others to contribute, and not be sailfish…