Richard Wade is a retired licensed Marriage and Family Therapist living in southern California. At Hemant’s suggestion, in 2009 he began writing an advice column called “Ask Richard.” He publishes his responses to email letters from people of all viewpoints, not just atheists. These usually deal with challenges or conflicts stemming from believers and nonbelievers living or working together. He tries to reduce unnecessary conflict and suffering on all sides.
He has spoken as a “guest atheist” at several churches to dispel the misconceptions and false stereotypes about atheism and atheists. His goal is to prevent the same unnecessary strife and hardship in families and friendships that he has dealt with in hundreds of “Ask Richard” letters. With accurate information, loving and respectful relationships do not have to be ruined by this difference in beliefs.
He is the President of the Santa Clarita Atheists and Freethinkers, who provide a safe haven and support for non-believers in the area as well as participate in several community outreach activities, charity work, interfaith events, and political activism.
Tornado season has come roaring back, and the devastation across the Midwest and South is already shocking. We grieve the loss of life, the injuries, and damage to property. Individuals and groups will be rallying to bring aid to people who are seriously affected by the storms, and it seems likely that atheist groups will be among those out there helping just like they were last year. In anticipation of that, here is a suggested t-shirt design for the atheist groups who will be doing what they can to bring people what they need: Read more
**Updated** Dear Richard, My girlfriend just broke up with me suddenly due to my lack of belief in god. Everything between us had been so perfect, felt so natural and right (her words), yet she went from loving me and telling me how much I meant to her on one day to telling me she can’t be with me anymore the next day. This happened a few days prior to my birthday while I was on vacation. I had disclosed about my former religious self and how I can no longer believe in god on our first date. Her best friend’s father passed away and that made her realize that she could be in front of god’s judgment any day. That scared her because she feels that she’s not good enough. She wants to be closer to god. She blamed herself for the mistreatment from her previous relationship because she wasn’t living according to god. She told me that I’m better than most people she knows in church and that no one has ever made her feel so special and beautiful like the way I made her feel, yet she cannot be with me anymore because I’m not a “man of faith”… Read more
Dear Richard, I recently came out to my family and friends as gay and atheist. Throughout all of it, I have received an overwhelming amount of unexpected support. But, in every family, there is at least one bigot. I have an uncle who, when I came out as gay, instead of rationally discussing it with me, decided he was going to start screaming Bible verses at me in front of the whole family. He ran off afterwards. I’d hoped that it was over and that he would just leave me alone, but he will not. First, I started getting messages on Facebook telling me that I have “chosen” to lead a very wrong and sinful lifestyle. He said that he “loves” me, but I am going to burn in hell for “choosing” to be gay. He said I am a dark person and I am just angry at God. I tried to explain to him that I did not choose to be gay and that I am not angry at God because I do not believe in him. He completely ignored this and just started spewing hate and bigotry again. I finally just blocked him from Facebook because I had enough of it. Fast forward a few days. He found my blog that I write about atheists. He started to comment on the posts telling me I’m a horrible person, I am choosing to live the wrong lifestyle, that Darwin was an idiot atheist who didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, and saying that science has proved there is a God, etc. [Click headline to read more…] ***UPTDATE: Dustin’s blog is now open to receive your supportive comments!*** Read more
Sunday morning I had the great pleasure to walk for 10 kilometers with 14 of my fellow members of Atheists United to help raise money for AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA). In response to my previous post two weeks ago, several of you sponsored me for a total of $740 dollars. Thank you! My deep gratitude goes to Dayanna, Pam, Joe, Rick, David, and three anonymous people. Your kindness helped to raise the Atheists United team donation to $1,295. This year’s event has brought in $2,520,684 for APLA and more than 25 other critically important AIDS organizations. The mood was contagiously festive as 25,000 people walked the route through West Hollywood. Overcast skies kept the temperatures very comfortable but did not dampen anyone’s spirits. In our bright red t-shirts, we met many people who were curious about our organization or atheism in general, and who talked with us as we walked. There was no negative interaction with anyone. Even Jesus chatted pleasantly and cordially with us while we waited in the crowd for the walk to begin. Read more
Note: Letter writers’ names are changed to protect their privacy. Dear Richard, Recently my sister called to tell me that despite neither she nor my brother-in-law being religious people, and despite the fact that they both reject the idea of Jesus as a supernatural figure, she and my brother-in-law have decided to attend church regularly. Obviously, if that’s what they want to do with their Sunday mornings, that’s their business. My concern has to do with one reason my sister gave for wanting to attend church: they are planning to have children soon, and she wants to raise her children with a religion. She said she wouldn’t care if they chose to leave the church when they got older, but seems to think that some sort of religious foundation is necessary. The other, somewhat more baffling reason is that she wants to make it easier for any of her children who would want to have a religious wedding in the future, since a friend of hers had to attend a lot of classes before getting married to a Catholic man, as this friend had not grown up Christian and was never baptized. I realize the ultimate decision is theirs, but as a concerned sister and aunt-to-be, what can I do in this situation to help mitigate the harm I my sister will be doing to her children by allowing them to be indoctrinated this way? This seems as irresponsible to me as if she’d told me that she was anti-vax. Nicole Dear Nicole, [Click headline for more…] Read more
