In case you need something else to worry about, Christian writer Thomas Horn would like you to know that an asteroid is going to crash into the Earth in 2029, and the Bible proves it. He found an outlet for his bananas theory on — where else? — Charisma.
Revelation 8 and the first four trumpet judgments appear to describe the different stages of a singular event — a large asteroid impact on planet earth, which I predict is coming in 2029 in the form of the asteroid Apophis.
I now believe, in fact, if you were to ask a scientist (as I did) to explain what these verses seem to depict, they would tell you that the details of Revelation 8 very much match the sequence of either a binary asteroid (two asteroids orbiting a common barycenter — the area of mass around which two or more bodies orbit) accompanied by smaller fragments — or the breakup of a larger asteroid into two main portions accompanied by tons of smaller debris as it enters Earth’s atmosphere, followed by impacts.
But when your audience consists of people who think evolution is a conspiracy, it shouldn’t be that hard to convince them that the Bible knows exactly what the cosmos will be up to in 2029.
I guess they need something to look forward to since all those Rapture predictions didn’t work out.