Conservative Christian Sex Advice is Surprisingly Kinky (But Still Homophobic) December 12, 2018

Conservative Christian Sex Advice is Surprisingly Kinky (But Still Homophobic)

It turns out that, just as with movies and music, evangelicals have their own sex advice websites. Same quality, too. Kelsy Burke, author of Christians Under Covers, has a summary of what she found reading message boards for conservative Christians seeking sex advice. A lot of it was explaining how much they enjoyed non-missionary kinds of sex… while being very very clear about they were 100% straight and everything they did kept them on God’s good side.

To put it more bluntly: “Evangelicals love pegging.”

The irony, of course, is that evangelicals who embrace the gender-subversive sex act of pegging rely on their normative and privileged identities to do so. In fact, website users justify their sexual interests by describing how their spouses, and God, affirm that they are cisgender and straight. A short comment on a blog post is an illustrative example of this accomplishment: “My [dear husband] is 100% man throughout, but he loves when I peg him.” Another website user writes confidently of God’s approval of his interest in pegging: “I was talking to God about it AGAIN, and I really felt the Lord say to me, ‘I love what you and your wife have together.’”

A guy sticking something up his ass? Fine.

A guy sticking another man’s penis up his ass? An eternity in hell.

A guy sticking something resembling a penis up his ass? Subject for theological debate.

The topic of Christian apologetics has never been so interesting…

Though it’s also easy to counter. After all, there’s a Bible verse, Ezekiel 16:17, that arguably condemns pegging.

You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.

Damn. They thought of everything. (Ezekiel is full of golden nuggets like that one.)

The cruel reality here is that while these Christians enjoy their kinks (within the confines of their God-endorsed opposite-sex marriages, of course), they would just as quickly deny the same rights to LGBTQ people if they had a choice. The Bible really can justify anything. God can essentially justify any sex act imaginable… unless it involves two men going at it. They’re sure of it.

Burke notes the hypocrisy:

Perhaps one day they’ll agree that everyone deserves consensual sexual pleasure and expression, even — and especially — the people who taught them about pegging in the first place.

They’re willing to step outside the conservative Christian box… unless it involves the humanity of other people. That’s where the line is drawn, apparently.

(Image via Shutterstock)

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