Christian “Prophetess”: In Heaven, Cows Drive Tractors and There’s a Jell-O City October 5, 2018

Christian “Prophetess”: In Heaven, Cows Drive Tractors and There’s a Jell-O City

The last time we heard from Kat Kerr, the self-proclaimed Christian “Prophetess” was explaining on her podcast that Heaven has a literal warehouse for body parts. This is the same person who says she met Jesus and He’s six feet tall and “very handsome.” And the same person who claimed Jesus lives in a mansion where he loves dancing and desserts.

Somehow, she just outdid herself.

In a compilation of clips from her latest episode, Kerr explains that Heaven is really just a giant magical theme park.

I swear to Christ I’m not taking these bits out of context. Just listen… or get the summary below:

So what have we learned?

  • Heaven has different seasons.
  • Heaven has a surf park with 80-foot waves (but don’t worry; you’ll be safe).
  • Heaven has horses to ride.
  • Each floor of Heaven has a different aroma.
  • In Spring, the “trees sing, the flowers will dance with you, even the rocks cry out and worship Him.”
  • Heaven has “flowercopters” to carry people into the air.
  • Heaven has cows that drive tractors.
  • In Heaven, kids take art classes taught by rabbits. Giant rabbits. Giant multi-colored rabbits. Who help the kids paint the eggs with “liquid light” so they can draw Minions on them. And inside the eggs are baby chicks or rabbits. Somehow.
  • The kids sit on mushrooms that rise up into the air.
  • The Easter traditions were invented in Heaven.
  • There’s a city in Heaven made out of Jell-O where you can “eat the mailboxes.” Kids love it.
  • Heaven has a roller coaster where you leap through the air and go under the sea.

Tell me again how religion isn’t a delusion?

(Thanks to Kyle for the link)

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