Richard Wade is a retired licensed Marriage and Family Therapist living in southern California. At Hemant’s suggestion, in 2009 he began writing an advice column called “Ask Richard.” He publishes his responses to email letters from people of all viewpoints, not just atheists. These usually deal with challenges or conflicts stemming from believers and nonbelievers living or working together. He tries to reduce unnecessary conflict and suffering on all sides.
He has spoken as a “guest atheist” at several churches to dispel the misconceptions and false stereotypes about atheism and atheists. His goal is to prevent the same unnecessary strife and hardship in families and friendships that he has dealt with in hundreds of “Ask Richard” letters. With accurate information, loving and respectful relationships do not have to be ruined by this difference in beliefs.
He is the President of the Santa Clarita Atheists and Freethinkers, who provide a safe haven and support for non-believers in the area as well as participate in several community outreach activities, charity work, interfaith events, and political activism.
These three letters share a common theme, the difficult choices of being open or secretive about one’s atheism to family and friends. The issues in the letters overlap. Much of what I suggest for one case will apply to the others. Dear Richard, First off, thank you for starting this “Ask the Atheist” advice column. It is nice to have a place where we can get advice from someone without the “god will guide you,” and “pray about it.” Secondly,… Read more
Dear Richard, I am an atheist who became an atheist after getting a job working for a church. I enjoy my work and it is well paying with good benefits (something I need as my wife has had many health problems). My job is not really religious in a major way. I do mostly clerical work. Yet, I still feel like a hypocrite. I do look for other jobs, but have not been successful so far. Should I come out… Read more
Dear Richard, While I am fairly open about my atheism around my friends and my apparently deist father, much of the older generation is devoutly Catholic. My grandparents know that I do not need church to be a good person, and have left the issue alone, but my great-aunt pressures me to come back to the church every time she sees me. I am probably the most vocally philosophical in my family, and my grandmother and I share a fascination… Read more
Richard Wade here. I’ve spent a long time on this blog trying to have and to promote respectful dialogues with the many Christians who visit. Many of you have expressed your appreciation of my courteous approach. I now want to spend some of that “social capital” by respectfully issuing you a challenge, and by making an appeal: CHRISTIANS! DO YOU STAND UP FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND RELIGION OR NOT? Your truthful answer is not shown by your words but… Read more
Hi Richard, Where does an atheist turn when she finds herself surrounded by people yet always alone? I live in a fairly conservative part of the country and while my friends know and accept that I’m an atheist, they view it as more of a novelty than anything — something they like to bring up when there are new people around, or if they have had a few drinks and feel like debating someone. Like it’s fun to wind me… Read more
