Richard Wade is a retired licensed Marriage and Family Therapist living in southern California. At Hemant’s suggestion, in 2009 he began writing an advice column called “Ask Richard.” He publishes his responses to email letters from people of all viewpoints, not just atheists. These usually deal with challenges or conflicts stemming from believers and nonbelievers living or working together. He tries to reduce unnecessary conflict and suffering on all sides.
He has spoken as a “guest atheist” at several churches to dispel the misconceptions and false stereotypes about atheism and atheists. His goal is to prevent the same unnecessary strife and hardship in families and friendships that he has dealt with in hundreds of “Ask Richard” letters. With accurate information, loving and respectful relationships do not have to be ruined by this difference in beliefs.
He is the President of the Santa Clarita Atheists and Freethinkers, who provide a safe haven and support for non-believers in the area as well as participate in several community outreach activities, charity work, interfaith events, and political activism.
In a comment on my post, “Dealing With Evangelizers Who Seem Fragile,” Nomad asked a very good question: “Remember, the vulnerability is an illusion.”I don’t think that’s true. Many religious people are very vulnerable. Your suggestions are primarily for dealing with those who are not. So you really haven’t addressed how to deal with that proportion, however small, who are vulnerable. And the most vulnerable are often those closest to you. Or at least those are the ones you care… Read more
Hey Richard, First, I want to say that I’m really loving your advice column. I’ve always respected the thought you put into your posts and comments, and I think this format really works. I hope it’s a permanent feature. My question deals with people who say their life was the subject of country songs before they found god. Every now and then I’ll have a religious conversation in which someone says that if they hadn’t found Jesus, they’d be on… Read more
Dear Richard, Over the last few years my beliefs have changed drastically from fundamentalist Christian (since childhood) to staunch atheist. There came a certain point in which I finally shed my fear-based beliefs and overcame my indoctrination to religion and embraced rational and free thought. It was a painful internal struggle but I felt relieved and liberated after finally shedding old superstitions, which conflicted with reason and logic. “Coming out” as an atheist is by far the hardest part. I… Read more
Richard, We have a very close family friend that is like a second mother to our children. She is a devout Lutheran (Missouri Synod) and so are her children. They likely suspect I’m atheist, but we don’t ever talk about it. The only thing they know is that I don’t allow our children to attend their church, Sunday school or vacation bible school. Recently we were asked for money, by one of her children, to support a summer college trip… Read more
Dear Richard, I’m in a polyamorous relationship. I’ve been married to my husband for almost four years, and for the past three, we’ve had a live-in boyfriend. At this point in our relationship, we consider all three of us to be equals – the marriage between me and my husband is no more or less binding or meaningful as our relationship with my boyfriend. The three of us are best friends – more than best friends, we’re family. We’re all… Read more
