Here’s a perfect example of religious people taking their delusions way too far.
A woman named “Mary” recently called in to Take 2 with Jerry & Debbie, a call-in talk show for Catholics on EWTN’s SiriusXM station. Mary (a pseudonym) relayed a story about how Jesus has a great sense of humor, and you’ll never believe how it manifested in her life.
Then she told her story: Mary used to bring consecrated communion wafers to a local hospital. When she gave it to one woman (perhaps a patient), she threw up almost immediately after eating it. So Mary was faced with a religious dilemma: What do you do when the literal body of Christ is sitting in a puddle of vomit right in front of you?
You can hear her answer at the 43:21 mark of the audio clip below. Reader 99Stutz also clipped it out in the YouTube video afterwards because it’s bonkers.
… I used to bring communion to the hospitals… and I gave this one lady communion, and she immediately puked. And I felt like, What are you supposed to do?
And so I gathered, you know, all the vomit and the Host in this little plastic bag. And then I started thinking, How can I leave Jesus there? That is just disgusting. What can I do?
I swallowed it.
I swallowed the whole bag.
… I did! I couldn’t stand to leave Him there!
And then I went to Mass, and I was in the choir, and guess what the song was? “Look beyond the [bread you eat]. See your Savior and your [God].”
I mean, that was definitely no coincidence! That was… He was saying, “Yep, I appreciated it!”
First of all… talk about an anticlimactic punchline. She just told the Catholic version of The Aristocrats.
Also, who knew Jesus’ sense of humor resembled a frat leader during rush week?
At no point in that story did co-host Debbie Georgianni ever say, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MARY? EWWWWWWWWWWW.” She just laughed with random interjections (“Oh!”) without once telling Mary that what she did was both bad religion and bad hygiene and bad health and WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, MARY?!
while Georgianni admitted she would never do such a thing — she would prefer taking the Vomit Bag o’ Jesus to a local Church for disposal — she told Mary, “God bless you for being tuned in to our Lord and the little… gentle reminders that He’s right there and smiling along with you. I love that about your faith.”
Somehow, she turned a disgusting story about eating a stranger’s puke into a parable about being devout.
Don’t tell me religion doesn’t warp your thinking.
(Image via Shutterstock)