The good news is that televangelist Jim Bakker is no longer hawking (or defending himself against selling) a fake all-purpose cure for COVID, SARS, HIV, and “all venereal diseases.”
The bad news is that he’s moved on to zombies.
On yesterday’s show, Bakker brought along conspiracy theorist Steve Quayle to explain how COVID nasal swabs were somehow part of a nefarious plan to get your DNA in order to make weapons that will turn people into flesh-eating zombies. Maybe. Something like that. Who knows. Makes as much sense as anything Bakker’s ever said, anyway.
“Zombies that are on the Earth are a disease like any other disease that affects people, and they become like zombies. Is that right?” Bakker asked.
“That’s only part of the story,” Quayle replied. “Zombies also have the evil spiritual entity known as demon possession.”
“The best way to explain zombies’ blood lust is this: the appetite of demons expressed through humans,” Quayle continued. “It should be astonishing to people that the richest people in the world — not all of them but some of them — are into occult ceremonies where they have to drink blood that’s extracted from a tortured child. Now that’s sick, but that’s the appetite of demons expressed through humans.”
“They can induce zombieism, at least the appetite for human flesh,” he added. “If this is all wild stuff, why does the military have a manual about it? Why does the CDC even have anything on their [website]? Remember, the Center for Disease Control — or Creation, I call it, that’s my opinion. The whole subject of zombies could be just boiled down at one end to a genetically modified human that is no longer human on the level that you and I or a living being is. Then that corpse, that walking — animated, there’s a better word, it’s not living — an animated corpse is possessed by a demonic entity. That demonic entity has knowledge, it has sentience, it has — how do I say this? — there’s a purpose to do nothing else but to destroy.”
Can anyone translate that for the non-insane among us…?
Anyway, everyone knows that if zombies ever really did come after us, we could just destroy them with a spoonful of Bakker’s Giant Buckets of Survival Glop.
Is this part of Bakker’s strategy now? By inviting people on his show who are even crazier than he is, he looks relatively normal by comparison. At least until he opens his mouth and acts like everything the Zombie guy just said makes perfect sense. And then you realize Bakker will believe literally anything as long as it allows him to sell more merchandise.
(via Right Wing Watch)
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