Christian blogger and professional mommy-shamer Lori Alexander (a.k.a. “The Transformed Wife”), who said earlier this year that COVID was a “blessing,” wants you to know that your children must learn to obey.
You’d be forgiven for forgetting that she’s talking about flesh-and-blood human beings — not wild dogs:
It’s crucial, mothers, to train your children to obey you from a young age. When you train them to obey you IMMEDIATELY, you are teaching them discipline and self-control…
… The first and only battle happened around the age of two with all of them. They wanted their way, and they refused to obey us. We stood our ground and insisted they obey. No, we never abused our children as many slanderously accuse us. We did spank our children at times but never in an abusive way. (Wooden spoons on the bottom or thigh works great!) Not one of them would say that they were ever abused.
In that first battle, we always won. God commands that children obey their parents, and it’s the parents’ responsibility to enforce this command. We were diligent to do this from the get-go. After that first battle, the children knew we meant business and obeyed us quickly. Child raising was easy because of this. Some of our friends thought we were too strict, as we watched their children win battle after battle and grow up to lack discipline and turn rebellious.
As we’ve said on this site before, anyone who says they were spanked as kids but turned out fine are lying: They grew up to be people who believe spanking is okay. And telling Christian parents that hitting their kids in moderation means they’re okay with hitting in principle and some parents will inevitably cross the line.
It’s harmful rhetoric no matter how many qualifications you append to it. It’s also not new, as many Christians have spoken out against the To Train Up a Child agenda.
It’s also concerning how Alexander uses the word “battle” in this context. Young children test boundaries, yes, but this is a natural part of development. As toddlers, they don’t do this to wage war against their parents, but simply because they are still learning about the world around them.
Alexander claims she never abused her kids and that they would never say that ever occurred, but one can only wonder if they might say differently when not in her presence. Abuse doesn’t always have to be physical, either; treating your children like literal enemies on a battlefield can also be considered abusive. Or at least emotionally unhealthy.