A friendly reminder pic.twitter.com/mPVfq8Tpbh
— Jesse Sumpter (@jesse_sumpter) October 28, 2020
Welcome to the party! I am serious about this. The husband is responsible for how his wife votes. He should not be abusive or a jerk about this and he should seek counsel from his wife on elections. But at the end of the day he is responsible.
— Jesse Sumpter (@jesse_sumpter) October 30, 2020
A few reasons:
-They should be united in voting. The husband makes sure this happens.
-If they vote differently, they cancel each other out.
-If they vote differently, the husband leaves his wife unprotected. If the husband won’t vote for a guy, why would he let his wife do it?
— Jesse Sumpter (@jesse_sumpter) October 30, 2020
To be sure, right now, I would be disturbed if my partner voted for Donald Trump, but mostly because it would suggest our values are not as aligned as I thought they were. If we vote the same way, even for downballot races, it’s because we’re looking for similar things in candidates. But that’s a far cry from what Sumpter is saying, which is that it’s a husband’s “responsibility” to make sure his wife is voting exactly how he tells her.
The alternative, I guess, is that she would be making a decision without running it by him, and then WHAT’S EVEN THE POINT OF MARRIAGE. Sumpter says he’s against abuse, but no doubt a man raised to think he must control what his wife does in a voting booth is a man more likely to be abusive.
The responses to his thread, even from many Christians, are an utter rejection of this kind of patriarchal control.
Here's a foolproof method to make sure you and your wife vote the same way:
1. Ask your wife who she's voting for.
2. Vote how she's voting.
Hope that helps.
— Napp Nazworth (@NappNazworth) October 30, 2020
And important reminder for wives:
��Voter intimidation is illegal even if it's your husband��
��Your vote is no one's business but your own��
Lie to him about how you vote if you have to in order to avoid his abuse.
Also Jesse, Jesus does not say to force your wife to do things
— Sherry B (@OkieLibSherry) October 30, 2020
Respectfully, my wife is an individual. We are Christians. We are semi-conservative. She can do whatever she wants. I respect her and her decisions. We will cancel each other out this year. That is fine. Millions will cancel each other out. That is how elections work.
— Switchway (@Switchway9) October 30, 2020
That's a whole lot of words to say "I'm a controlling asshole."
— Vi La Bianca (@AuthorConfusion) October 30, 2020
I’ve been married for 22yrs. I am religious, my faith is strong, & very personal. My marriage is very strong, unshakable.
No one tells me how to vote. And my husband would NEVER try to, bc he respects me, loves me, honors me. You are really messed up. I’m sorry, but you are.
— Maevis Meelan (@maedlam319) October 30, 2020
Aww man I wish I knew these rules earlier. My wife voted before me and chose Biden so I HAD to vote Biden per this friendly reminder. Ugh. Had to. Wouldn’t want a broken marriage or whatever you’re saying.
— A (@WutRWeDoingFam) October 30, 2020
It’s no surprise that a guy who helps run an ultra-conservative church would be telling men to keep their wives in check. It’s disturbing, though, how many people might see his message and think there’s nothing wrong with it at all.
Since his initial tweet, Sumpter has attempted to explain himself in greater length… and he’s still not doing himself any favors. (Maybe he should’ve had his wife edit the piece.) Here’s how he argues this is all about protecting her.
Run the scenario: you, as the husband, vote third party and your wife votes for Trump. At the next get together, people are talking about who they voted for. You say third party and your wife says Trump. All eyes turn to her and ask her: “Why did you vote for Trump? Defend that position.” And there you are, as the guy, left to drink punch alone in the corner, while your wife tries to fend off the accusations. It is foolishness on the husband’s part to leave his wife vulnerable. If there is a hard decision to be made, the choice should go back to the husband and he should have skin in the game. He should be ready to answer for it.
… Brothers, don’t let her vote in such a way that she is left unprotected. Being the leader means you take the brunt of the questions and objections and concerns. You should lead in the voting decisions because when the questions come, you should be ready with the answers.
There’s an assumption there that the wife must be too stupid to be able to defend herself and it’s up to the man to rescue her. That’s absurd enough to begin with, and it’s only more ridiculous here because the husband must be even more foolish than his wife for voting third party in 2020.
Don’t take voting advice from a conservative Christian who thinks some people can’t be trusted to make up their own minds. Better yet, don’t take marriage advice from him either.
Incidentally, this past May, anti-abortion activist Abby Johnson also said she longed to return to a time when women couldn’t make up their own political minds, saying that “In a Godly household, the husband would get the final say.” She was roundly mocked for that. That belief is still popular in her circles, though.