Former Liberty U. Staffer Ousts “Bigfoot Erotica” Author in Virginia GOP Primary June 14, 2020

Former Liberty U. Staffer Ousts “Bigfoot Erotica” Author in Virginia GOP Primary

Rep. Denver Riggleman, a Republican who represents Virginia’s 5th District in Congress, was ousted in a completely insane primary late last night… by Bob Good, a former fundraiser for Liberty University’s athletics program.

Bob Good (left) and Rep. Denver Riggleman

Riggleman had his own set of problems from the moment he stepped onto the political stage. In 2018, when he was first campaigning, he became nationally (in)famous after being accused of being into Bigfoot erotica.

Riggleman said the cartoonish image was indeed used for the cover of a book he once wrote… but it was all a joke between friends. (Hilarious.)

Then he got elected anyway.

In 2019, however, he committed a sin far greater to a conservative Christian voting base than having some alleged ape-man fetish: He officiated a same-sex wedding between two of his former campaign volunteers.

Several party county committees voted to censure him, and Bob Good, a former county official who was once an employee of Liberty University, threw his name into the race to challenge him from the right, arguing Mr. Riggleman “betrayed the trust” of Republicans in the district.

Consider, if you will, the moral bankruptcy of right-wing Christians who think Donald Trump can do no wrong but a Republican who presides over a gay wedding must be destroyed at all costs.

So that set the stage for yesterday’s primary, between Riggleman and Good.

Then, because we’re talking about Republicans, it got even weirder.

This wasn’t a typical primary where everyone in the party simply votes for their preferred candidate. In Virginia’s 5th District, around 3,500 delegates had to cast their ballots via a “socially distanced drive-through convention.” Imagine a whole bunch of cars getting on the exit ramp for the only rest stop within 100 miles, and you can see how this could be problematic.

It was a giant clusterfuck. No one knew how many people were going to vote. No one could even count the votes properly. Very few people who handed out ballots to people in their cars were even wearing masks or gloves. It took some people hours to vote; some drove away before they even had that opportunity.

It wasn’t until after midnight when results were finally released: Bob Good was declared the victor. But not without controversy.

Fifth District GOP chairman Melvin Adams said 2,537 delegates voted Saturday. Good said he received 58% of the tally.

On Twitter Riggleman asserted that “voting irregularities and ballot stuffing has been reported in multiple counties” in the district. He added: “We are evaluating all our options at this time.”

As for Riggleman’s allegations, Good said: “That’s what losers say.”

You know who could sort this all out? Bigfoot.

Anyway, because we’re talking about Republicans, it gets even worse.

Bob Good didn’t file his paperwork to be a candidate until Friday… which is a problem since the deadline was Tuesday. If state officials don’t grant him a retroactive extension when they meet on July 7, Good may not even appear on the November ballot.

This is what happens when the only thing you ever read is the Bible.

(Are atheists allowed to pray for conservative Christian incompetence to come back and bite Republicans in the ass?)

In summary, Bob Good, the anti-gay Christian who can’t read a damn set of rules, defeated the author of Bigfoot erotica partly because he officiated a gay wedding, in an election that looked more like hundreds of people ordering takeout from the only restaurant in town, and will face off against the eventual Democratic nominee in a race where he may not even be on the ballot.

Welcome to America, home of democracy and competence.

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