Hairdresser Says Her Salon Is Also a Ministry, So She Should Be Allowed to Open May 15, 2020

Hairdresser Says Her Salon Is Also a Ministry, So She Should Be Allowed to Open

If you cut people’s hair for a living, and you like to talk about the baby Jesus while your victim is sitting captive in your chair — why, you’re practically an ordained minister. And your salon? A sacred sanctuary!

Not the Onion:

The owner of a faith-based hair salon in [Appleton,] Wisconsin filed a federal lawsuit arguing the state’s coronavirus safer-at-home order violates her First Amendment rights to freedom of religion, speech and assembly.

Jessica Netzel named Governor Tony Evers and the local police chief as defendants, arguing that her business is part hair salon, part ministry.

The lawsuit states that there are spiritual references throughout the salon and Netzel “sincerely believes that she is to share her faith with others through her work at Kingdom Kuts.”

Lordly Locks and Divine Dos must not have made the kut.

Earlier this month, Appleton police officers were called to Kingdom Kuts and informed Netzel that she was in violation of the safer-at-home order and could face fines, loss of license or criminal charges. … Netzel’s suit claims the order violates her First Amendment rights to religion, freedom and speech, as well as the right to equal protection under the 14th Amendment.

I bet her salon customers sit very still and attempt lots of smiles as Netzel pushes her Jesus jabber on them while using sharp implements in the vicinity of their necks.

It’ll be exciting to see how many other businesses could be allowed to reopen if they use Netzel’s logic. This Jesus juice bar? This Biblical baker? How about every Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-A in the country?

Just like Netzel’s Christian twaddle, the possibilities are endless.


P.S.: Netzel’s lawsuit became moot the moment Wisconsin’s “openers” prevailed late on Wednesday, when the state’s Supreme Court invalidated the stay-at-home order. (Here‘s what the bars looked like within the hour.)

Kingdom Kuts will now presumably stay open until Kingdom Come, or until COVID-19 decimates Netzel’s customer base, whichever comes first.

(Image via Shutterstock)

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