In another bizarrely misguided and potentially harmful post from “Girl Defined” sister Bethany Beal, young women are told to stop loving themselves so damn much.
The post is prompted by one of those self-affirmation videos in which a girl looks at herself in the mirror and says things like “I am amazing” or “I can do anything.” To most people, that’s a pleasant way to remind yourself how capable you are. Not everyone has a lot of self-confidence, after all, and if no one else is reminding you of your worth, then why not give yourself a little boost?
But rather than admit any of that, Beal says self-affirmation is a bad idea.
… I think these solutions to self-worth and confidence will only do more harm than good in the long run. These kinds of pep talks can only last so long. What happens when you’re genuinely not awesome? When you truly disappoint someone? When someone disappoints you? When you look in the mirror and say, “I am amazing” but deep inside you know that you’re not.
Christ… never be friends who thinks putting you down is a way to help.
Beal, of course, goes on to say that self-affirmation is bad because it suggests you alone are responsible for your happiness. But you’re not! You need Jesus!
You don’t have to be enough. You will never be or have enough. You are a sinner in desperate need of a Savior. A proper understanding of who we are will help us to better understand who God is.
We need to slow down and look carefully at the Bible. Nowhere in Scripture do we ever see God commanding us to love ourselves more. Why? Self-love is our natural default. Self-thought is our natural default. Thinking about ourselves more (whether in a positive or negative light) is something that every human on earth does naturally.
No amount of self-love or self-esteem can give us the fulfillment we are truly looking for. That must come from Someone greater. Someone who can look at us and tell us who we really are…
By her logic, people without Jesus must be unhappy or deluded. (Take that, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, and progressive Christians.) She’s obviously wrong. Your happiness has nothing to do with your religious beliefs; if anything, religion often leads to self-loathing.
And yet, even with Jesus, what is Beal? A cold-hearted person who thinks the best advice to give young women is that they’re worthless unless they accept her interpretation of the Bible.
The Bible says to love your neighbor, but apparently loving yourself is a step toward eternal damnation.
So let that be a lesson to everyone: The GirlDefined girls want you to hate yourself. Unless you accept Jesus. Then only is self-love permissible.
Not that anyone asked, but here’s what I would tell young women: You’re amazing. You’re worthy of love. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially not a Christian woman who wants to tear you down in order to build up her own ministry.