Kenai (Alaska) Pastafarian Honors Flying Spaghetti Monster During Invocation September 19, 2019

Kenai (Alaska) Pastafarian Honors Flying Spaghetti Monster During Invocation

A Pastafarian delivered the invocation yesterday at a meeting of the Kenai Peninsula Borough Assembly in Alaska, making it the latest non-traditional prayer in front of elected officials who can’t stand non-Christian invocations.

You remember Kenai Peninsula. This is the place where Satanist Iris Fontana gave an invocation in 2016, leading officials to craft a new policy effectively blocking Satanists and atheists from doing what she did. Those groups sued. Those groups won.

When the borough finally opened up invocation opportunities to everyone, several non-Christians signed up, which is why Fontana spoke again in June.

Yesterday was Barrett Fletcher‘s turn. And the member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster delivered his speech with a colander on his head.

I’m Barrett Fletcher. I’m the founding pastor of the First Lower Peninsula Congregation of Pastafarians. We’re gathered here to do the business of our Kenai Peninsula borough. We make the rules of behavior and property, levy taxes, and determine how to disperse them wisely. Fund education, waste management, law enforcement, transportation, and health. And attempt to settle disputes by the petty or substantial.

A few of the Assembly members seem to feel they can’t do this work without being overseen by a higher authority. So I’m called to invoke the power of the true inebriated creator of the universe, the drunken tolerator of the all lesser and more recent gods, and maintainer of gravity here on Earth.

May the great Flying Spaghetti Monster rouse Himself from His stupor, and let His noodly appendages ground each assembly member in their seats, reminding them of the purpose of their election to this body, and helping them to stay focused on the tasks at hand. And may He help them to easily equip each of these tasks, avoiding any pettiness and irrelevant disagreement, and may He provide each of them satisfaction in the perception of accomplishment, and allow them true relaxation and an ample supply of their favorite beverage at the end of this evening’s work.

rAmen.

Fletcher had waited more than a year for that moment. Was it worth it? Judging by the looks on the faces of the people just behind him, hell yes.

The Anchorage Daily News also reports that some people were extremely disrespectful.

The only people who stood for the invocation were those without seats in the standing-room-only assembly hall in Homer, which is about 125 miles south of Anchorage. One man turned his back to face the wall during the invocation, and other men did not remove their hats.

How dare they offend His Noodliness?! (Oh well. No one cares.)

If anyone is upset over the prayer, they should complain to borough officials. They’re the ones who asked for this. They could’ve gone with a moment of silence, or nothing at all, but they chose to turn the invocation process into a circus.

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