Florida Man Arrested for DUI Says He Smoked Pot to Prepare for Jesus to Return

Yes, it’s another case of Florida Man.

This time, Carlos Guillen was arrested for a DUI when he told police he was smoking weed to prepare for the return of Jesus.

Indian River County sheriff’s deputies were called to Vero Beach, where they found Guillen. In addition to the weed, he was drinking lots of alcohol.

Investigators reported a man later identified as Guillen was in the driver’s seat of a parked vehicle, the interior of which smelled of booze. A half bottle of Hennessy cognac was in the passenger seat and a cup that looked to contain the alcoholic beverage was in a cup holder.

Asked for his driver’s license, Guillen handed over a vape pen that he said contained THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana.

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“I asked Guillen if he was enjoying Tampa, and where he was staying,” the affidavit states. “Guillen pointed south of the outlet mall, and advised he was at a church convention approximately 4 miles in that direction.”

Keep the man away from the communion wine.

Guillen went on to say the weed was meant to help him prepare for the return of his Savior.

He also said he smoked liquid THC in the vape pen “to get himself ready because Jesus was returning,” the affidavit states.

It’s like the Bible says regarding the return of Christ, “about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father, so vape it up when you can.”

Needless to say, if he’s waiting for Jesus, Guillen — like all Christians — will be staring at a watch for a very long time. As they say, He was nailed to a cross, not a boomerang.