Lori Alexander, the fundamentalist Christian mommy blogger, says that women who aren’t in the mood should always have sex with their husbands because God is watching and it would make Him happy.
In fact, the only reason women wouldn’t want to have sex with their spouses, she suggests, is because they had sex before marriage with other men who they eventually broke up with, and that ruined them, which is why sex isn’t always pure joy anymore.
… it’s a strong woman who isn’t being led by her moods and emotions but instead is living in obedience to God’s command to not deprive her husband sexually. This takes strength whereas doing as you please takes no strength at all.
Why do women act so profoundly disgusted at the thought of giving themselves freely to their husbands sexually even if they’re not in the mood?…
Uh… because they’re not in the mood. They said that.
Or maybe because good sex involves making sure your partner is happy, and it wouldn’t be fun sleeping with someone who’s not into it.
Or maybe because consent matters, even in marriage.
Alexander then quotes an anonymous woman who offered a “great reason” in answering her question:
“My thought is that most, if not all, women with this woman’s mindset comes from a background of regular premarital sex, where they have been used by men for sex (which in my mind includes all sexual activity outside of marriage). This repeated ‘use’ of a woman (the sex she gives freely, of course) hardens her heart against men. She feels she’s ‘putting herself out there’ in relationship after relationship, only to have it end one way or another. This creates a huge bitterness in her heart. In her mind, she may not be able to control the relationship, but she can control her body and who does what with it…”
That woman later added that she had sex with other men before marriage and the “baggage of shame, hurt, and self-disgust is so hard to shake.” Therefore, I guess, all other women must feel the same way.
It’s not surprising these Christian women would say this considering they never think a woman should have control over her body. If she’s pregnant, her body belongs to a fetus. If she’s married, her body belongs to her husband. Until she’s married, her body belongs to her father. Really, anything suggesting a woman should control her body and — God forbid — get joy out of it when the man in her life isn’t involved runs against their faith-based values.
In case you’re wondering, Alexander isn’t a troll. She’s very, very real.
(Image via Shutterstock)