Christian “News” Outlet: Burnt Eggs “Can Summon a Demon” February 12, 2019

Christian “News” Outlet: Burnt Eggs “Can Summon a Demon”

Blake Healy, writing for Charisma, says his burnt eggs summoned a demon.

Just like Jesus always promised…

As the eggs cooked, I ran around the house, grabbing things I would need for the rest of the day. [Daughter] November started to cry, so I picked her up and carried her around with me as I packed my computer bag, notebook and coffee tumbler.

Then I started to smell burning eggs.

My frustration began to mount as the rest of my to-do list resounded like a chorus in my head. Then I began getting frustrated that I was getting frustrated — burned eggs and a delayed breakfast are hardly the worst of the world’s problems. What right did I have to be moody?

It was then I saw a demon come around the corner.

There wasn’t much to it. The demon was a little under three feet tall with grayish skin and a potbelly. It shuffled forward, its pace and posture that of a toddler who has smelled something tasty.

I could have commanded it to leave. “In the name of Jesus be gone. I banish thee from my household,” or something like that. But that would not really solve the problem. The problem was in my head. The problem was that I had let my circumstances, as trivial as they were, determine my level of internal peace.

I found myself humming again, the same worship song I was humming before. I gave my head a little shake to clear it, smiled at my daughter and went back to the refrigerator to get more eggs. The demon turned around and skittered away after that. I hummed the song all the louder.

Yep. That’s my reaction to tiny intruder under Satan’s command: Hum some music, smile at my child, grab some eggs, assume the potbellied demon will just wander away on its own.

Healy also claims he saw a literal angel hovering over his baby’s crib. The angel was “wearing a robe patterned with silver stars” which then “fell off its edges, pouring down over the face of the smiling infant in the crib.”

This is normal. Totally normal. And Healy saw all this and chose not to pick up a camera and document any of it.

How the hell do these people function in society…?

(Image via Shutterstock. Thanks to Kyle for the link)

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