Ruby Bisson is a former fundamentalist Christian from Australia who has been sharing her path out of indoctrination on her site The Gravity of Guilt. She recently compiled stories (told to her by readers) about how their faith damaged their sex lives even after they walked away from religion.
I can’t orgasm because I can’t relax. I’m literally thinking about hell. It’s been three years since I left Christianity but I can’t shake the thought that a guy who isn’t a Christian just wants me for my body… and I project that insecurity onto him … This is ultimately what ended my only two relationships.
I was molested at a young age. Whenever I heard the minister talk about how it is a sin to not be ‘pure’ before marriage I would feel incredibly guilty and dirty, and this has distorted my views on myself and sex even to this day. I felt trapped, I felt as if I was going to hell or something even though it wasn’t my fault, and I find that I am still overcoming these feelings.
During the first few years of my marriage I definitely felt like a disappointment, or like there was something wrong with me, because I didn’t know how to make myself orgasm and I couldn’t give my husband any guidance either… I felt like it was directly related to the church.
It’s depressing and all too real for so many former believers raised to believe sex can only occur in one way, in one context, and everything else is sinful and shameful. And that’s assuming it’s enjoyable between two virgins shortly after marriage. You can read more of Ruby’s writing on this subject here.
(Image via Shutterstock. Thanks to Shayne for the link)