What awful arguments are misogynists using to defend men accused of sexual assault?
Right-wing activist Dave Daubenmire has a novel approach to the matter: He says women who lead men on are the real abusers.
He made the comments last week on The Hagmann Report:
“What would be going on in America today if Judge Kavanaugh went before the cameras and said, ‘Yeah, you know what? That did happen back then, but it didn’t happen the way she said it happened. Let me tell you something, she was in there taking on about any boy that wanted to come in there. And if I remember this right, I wasn’t the only guy in there; there were a bunch of them. And I’m not proud of it, but I’m telling you, she was giving it out like candy’?” Daubenmire said. “Boy, they would scream and holler, you’re disparaging her character and all that kind of stuff. There is such a double standard that is going on in America and it’s happened because, truthfully, most men in particular, we’re scared of women.”
Men are scared of women?
That’s a really odd thing to say (to put it mildly) given the things women are told their entire lives to avoid being targets of violence: Always guard your drink at clubs. Use the buddy system when walking alone at night. Hold your keys in your fist like a knife if a friend isn’t available. Carry pepper spray in your purse. Be polite to men who tell you to smile so they don’t get angry and lash out at you.
The list goes on.
I’ll never forget driving home from my then-boyfriend’s house at ten o’clock at night and needing to pee but questioning whether it was worth stopping at a gas station by myself. I decided I couldn’t hold it for the entire hour-long trip. I did my business as fast as I could at a station where it was just me and the lone guy at the counter. The bathroom required a key, and I remember thinking how easy it would have been for him to assault me in that vulnerable moment.
And that’s just one random evening. I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t had an experience like this.
Yet Daubenmire is painting women as the real abusers:
“Women don’t really want to be equal,” Daubenmire continued. “They want to be equal in employment and they want to be equal in responsibility but, man, they don’t want to be equal sexually. Oh no, no, no, no. And I know I’m speaking for many males that are watching and listening to this show right now — how about all the times when you were a teenage [boy] and some girl … led you on and led you on and then, all of a sudden, pulled the plug? Every guy that has blood flowing through his body had that happen. Isn’t that sexual abuse as well?”
But I’ll give him this: Women can be aggressors and offenders. Not because they flirt and “pull the plug,” but because they are also capable of abuse. We just don’t hear about those stories as often because there’s an even greater stigma against men who come forward with those stories.
I’m honestly starting to believe that the men who make these bullshit arguments do so because they have their own skeletons to hide. The ones who genuinely respect women would never say things like this.
(via Right Wing Watch)