According to conservative Christian blogger Lori Alexander, better known in the internet world as The Transformed Wife, men prefer virgins.
Not just virgins, but debt-free virgins.
And not just debt-free virgins, but debt-free virgins with no tattoos.
My poor husband will be shocked to hear this…
We’ve heard the purity argument from conservative Christians before, so no need to elaborate on that. The debt-free argument, while it sounds fine on the surface, is really a way for Alexander to argue women shouldn’t go to college.
There are many more reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday. Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It’s far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits.
I guess she’s unaware that many secular universities have Christian groups on campus — several of them, in fact. (I was a member of two myself.) They’re not small either; just look at the presence of Cru (a.k.a. Campus Crusade for Christ) at various public universities.
I’ll grant that there is some concern in having someone else’s debt become your debt through marriage, but student loans are a reality for most millennials now. Managing your finances well and having a stable job can help.
Which brings me to the next point… in which Alexander quotes someone who discourages other Christian women from getting a higher education. (The parentheticals are Alexander’s own thoughts.)
“If they go to college, they are unlikely to stay home raising their children to pay off the debt and use the degree they spent years on.” (I have seen this in many young women’s lives, sadly.)
“They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally.” (Is college worth having less children? I will never understand how women prefer careers over having precious babies.)
You don’t have to understand it, Lori. What works for you may not work for someone else. Believe it or not, not all women desire to have babies. Some women — like me — just know they’re not ready for parenthood just yet, and the best thing they can do for their future children is to postpone having them, or not have them at all.
“It’s very rare to find an 18 year old woman that continues to work and live at her parent’s house until she meets her husband. It’s pretty much a joke to all who do that.” (It’s actually protection for young women to live under their father’s roof until they get married, if they are able, and there’s nothing wrong with doing this if they want this protection.)
Many parents look forward to becoming empty-nesters, actually. It’s worth noting that this idea of “protection” comes from an era when a woman’s only option in life was marriage. Needless to say, in 21st-century America, that is not the case anymore. In some cases, it might actually decrease a woman’s chances for marriage if a potential partner finds out she’s in her late twenties or thirties and still lives with her parents — not because of a financial or health-related emergency (which happens and is totally legitimate), but by choice. (The same thing goes the other way around.)
Interestingly, for a post that warns against tattoos in the title, Alexander doesn’t mention them until the very last line:
Young women, be wise in the path that you choose to walk on. Keep a long-term vision of your life and how you hope it will be someday instead of acting upon all of the “what ifs…?” that many will throw at you. Trust God with your life, study the Word, and take the narrow path that leads to life. Stay virgins until marriage, out of debt, and don’t get tattoos!
Well, that’s convincing. (It may be a little late for me, since I already have seven.)
It’s also odd that, for a Christian blogger, Alexander doesn’t cite any Bible verses to justify her reasoning. That won’t matter to non-Christian readers, who only read her work pretending that it’s satire, but it sure won’t do anything to convince the Christians she is trying to reach.
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