Ex-gay activist Robert Oscar Lopez is very nervous these days. He’s convinced he’s about to be a criminal since he’s almost certain we’re on the verge of making it illegal to be ex-gay or for anyone to offer “advice” to those who wish to become ex-gays. That’s his interpretation of a bill (that hasn’t passed) in California meant to ban conversion therapy.
While the bill will not, in fact, ban poorly written listicles on Barbwire dot com, Lopez has decided that he’d better get his advice out there to the tens of people eager to go from gay to straight before anyone can throw him in jail for doing so.
Most of the advice Lopez offers isn’t surprising. Don’t masturbate. Don’t watch porn. Cut yourself off from everyone you know. Embrace Jesus. And if you try real hard to be romantically interested in women, you can eventually brainwash yourself into it… after maybe ten years or so.
However, one of the more peculiar things Lopez says will make “ex-gays” happy is… checking out the manosphere.
Return of Kings in particular.
The manosphere may shock you (I mean sites like Roosh’s Return of Kings) with its misogyny and vulgarity. But you need to hear the thoughts of straight guys. It will help you stay humble by reminding you that you are now just one of the guys, struggling like the straight ones to get stronger and find better success with girls. It will also educate you on how straight men deal with setbacks and frustration. You need to increase your masculinity and self-confidence before you start dating girls. In addition to spending your time online in these kinds of environments, you want to do activities that place you in contact with straight men, and do not confide in other guys everything you are dealing with. Part of being a man is not having to talk about everything in your head, and just listening to what other people do. If you want to be in a relationship with a woman, you need to become a man — the kind of person who can be stalwart, unflappable, strong, and reliable, someone with no problems or drama. Being around straight men will gradually help you get there.
There is, of course, a certain amount of irony in trying to get gay men to go straight by sending them to a site that hates women.
Now, as much of a misanthrope as I can be, I have far too much faith in humanity to think for a second that freaking Return of Kings is a fair and reasonable sampling of the way most heterosexual men think. That shit is not “masculinity,” it’s a cult. A cult that explains the world in a simple and screwed up way to simple and screwed up men. The only way someone could look at this and go “Ah, yes — this is what being a heterosexual man is all about!” is if they have literally no idea what heterosexual men are about.
This, I guess, is why it would be a natural fit for someone like Lopez — not just because he’s an ex-gay, but also because he clearly doesn’t care for women.
Once you go straight, you may go years without sex; nobody wants to hear you cry about it. Once you find your woman, you can’t just blow off things she complains about. You have to sit and listen to her whine about stupid stuff for hours without laughing or rolling your eyes or getting snarky.
Has Robert Oscar Lopez ever interacted with another human being?
At several points in his two-page-long screed, Lopez explains that there are two different kinds of women on the planet — good girls and “trashy throwaway dolls” — which is a very manosphere-like way of viewing us. He recommends finding one of the former types and then not having sex with them until you (the ex-gay who now hates women) have married them. I guess because, that way, you’re kinda stuck?
It’s really a pretty insidious way of hating both gay men and women. He wants gay men to stop being themselves, because God hates that, and he doesn’t think that even the “good women” deserve to be with someone who’s romantically and sexually attracted to them, because they’re obviously just baby-making vehicles for eternal salvation.
(Top screenshot via YouTube)