If you are ever bored on a Saturday night and feel like playing a drinking game called How Many Logical Fallacies Can Fit Into a Single Article, Christian blogger Matt Walsh has new material for you. Today’s topic is on the evils of yoga, which, Walsh wants you to know, is literally playing with fire.
Clearly I’ve been taking the wrong class.
Taking him to task for his ignorance is Ed Mazza at HuffPost:
A Christian blogger is warning those who follow his faith that practicing yoga is like playing with a Ouija board.
“You may perform the moves without consciously seeking the demonic trance they were designed to help you attain, but it would seem you are playing, quite literally, with fire,” Matt Walsh wrote for the Daily Wire.
Someone needs to go back to 7th grade English class. That is not what “literally” means.
He repeatedly called yoga a pagan practice.
“I don’t think all yoga practitioners go to Hell,” he wrote. “But neither do I see how a pagan ritual could ever help someone get to Heaven, and maybe that’s reason enough to leave it alone.”
Actually, it’s a Hindu practice. Get your heretics straight, man. Sheesh.
He does start referring to yoga as a Hindu practice later in his piece, yet seems to think that the word is interchangeable with “pagan.” Again, a remedial vocabulary class could help clear this up.
But the most comedic material on the subject is on Twitter:
I have noticed that many Christians really do not believe that evil spirits are at work in the world at all. They laugh at the idea right along with the atheists. They seem to think the Devil is a myth yet they pretend still to believe in God. They are making a dangerous mistake
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) February 2, 2018
I know a Christian family that once did yoga. They all spontaneously combusted & their relatives got charred letters that said "We are in hell now; don't yoga." https://t.co/d240w4X5nB
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) February 1, 2018
My neighbor started doing yoga and then mysteriously my dog died three years later.
— Very Stable John (@sofajockey) February 1, 2018
I don’t know, man. One minute, you’re in downward dog, and the next minute, you’re ambushed by Ouija boards and accidentally become one with the universe. Can’t be too careful these days.
— Josh Novalis (@joshnovalis) February 1, 2018
Additionally, Jesus didn't jog, people! Track was invented by the ancient Greeks, who were pagan idolators!
— John Haas (@haas1235) February 1, 2018
What’s it like to be this scared of everything dude
— Michel Obultra (@michel_obultra) February 1, 2018
In a world where satire and real news used to be distinct, Matt Walsh’s work was pure entertainment. But now everything is upside down and bat-crazy is the new voice of reason for the conservatives in his audience.