While Halloween is obviously the best holiday, there are always those who want to ruin the fun for everyone else. Your friendly neighborhood dentist with his shame bucket of toothbrushes, anyone who hands out licorice or those weird round fake M&Ms, jerks who think a woman in her thirties has no business trick-or-treating… and now Creationist Ken Ham.
In a recent post on his Answers in Genesis blog, Ham is taking a cue from everyone’s favorite Christian cartoonist Jack Chick and suggesting that people hand out proselytizing tracts along with their candy, because what kid doesn’t want a copy of A Biblical and Historical Look at Halloween taking up important candy space in their repurposed pillowcases?
Ham (or someone from his “research team”) writes:
Halloween has its obvious downsides, but we can use this day to share the hope of Christ with others by welcoming trick-or-treaters with some candy (or maybe a healthier snack!) and a gospel booklet. Our A Biblical and Historical Look at Halloween booklets are a great way to introduce older trick-or-treaters or their parents to the history of this day, fascinating facts about Halloween, and, most importantly, the gospel message. These tracts are available from our store in different-sized packs at a discounted price.
Oh yeah, children will love that. (I mean, I actually would have loved that because I would have found the tracts hilarious, but probably others will just be annoyed.) Though this is probably a good way to alert your neighbors to the fact that they might want to avoid you.
And speaking of annoying your neighbors — Ham also suggests a thing he is calling “reverse trick-or-treating” in which you show up to your neighbors house with a bunch of cookies and religious tracts.
… Include a gospel booklet with your home-baked or store-bought treats. This is a great way to encourage your kids to give and bless others as well as share the gospel as a family.
This is a weird and rude thing to do, regardless of what your neighbor’s religious affiliation is, even if it does involve free cookies. Not to mention that even the Mormons don’t make their kids proselytize door-to-door until they’re 18-years old or so.
If that isn’t annoying enough for you, Answers In Genesis would like to sell you their whole “Halloween Learn and Share Kit,” which includes tracts written on fake dollar bills with a dinosaur face in the middle of them. Because of how Jesus hung out with dinosaurs all the time…
HAHA! See, it’s funny because the person thinks you gave them some money, but actually you gave them JESUS. And a dinosaur. What a great surprise! Reminds me of those swell fake $20 bill Jesus tracts I’d get instead of a tip on occasion when I was a server, and boy was that ever a good time.
The whole kit will cost you only $17.99 (a $29 value, they assure you!), though ruining your neighbor’s Halloween is surely priceless.