Self-described Christian prophet Cindy Jacobs has a habit of — get this — lying to her audiences. Like the time she helped a woman grow three inches instantaneously, and the time she turned metal into bone (literally), and the time she blamed the death of blackbirds on the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
Last year, she even boasted about commanding the clouds to move during a photo shoot because she had “authority over the weather.” (Just not enough command to stop things like Hurricane Katrina, tornadoes hitting the Bible Belt, or climate change.)
She’s back at it. Over the weekend, while speaking at a conference in Pennsylvania, Jacobs talked about an event she was at in 2007. It was in Nashville. It was very hot. People were struggling with heat exhaustion.
That’s when her Jesus Powers kicked in.
“I’m a prophet, I have authority in the name of Jesus,” Jacobs said, explaining that she went to the side of the stage, got on her knees and pointed her hands at the sky and declared “clouds come from the north and the south and the east and the west” … but nothing happened.
The lack of results frustrated her, Jacobs said, “and finally I had it, so I got up and we started commanding the clouds to come from the north, south, east and west and they covered the stadium.”
When she realized that “it was still hot,” Jacobs declared “in the name of Jesus, we command the winds to blow, come from the north, south, east and west.”
“Guess what happened?” she asked the crowd. “The wind began to blow! And we were able to continue the whole day.”
That’s nothing. Yesterday afternoon, I told the Flying Spaghetti Monster to get the sun out of my face, and it eventually worked!
This — the natural change in weather — is what Cindy Jacobs thinks is only possible because of her intervention.
Jacobs didn’t talk to God. And Jacobs didn’t change the weather. But we have to give her credit for one thing: She brought this Simpsons meme to life:
(via Right Wing Watch)