This $73 Magical Cup Promises To Do… Something… To Your Water February 24, 2017

This $73 Magical Cup Promises To Do… Something… To Your Water

Hey! Do you have some money you’d like to set on fire? Are you the kind of person who saw that terrible What The Bleep Do We Know? movie those Ramtha cult people made and now corners innocent, unsuspecting women in bars in order to tell them about how water has feelings?

Well, do I have a deal for you! It is a magical cup from a site called “Harmony H2O,” which you can get for the low, low price of 297 Polish zlotys (or 73 American dollars).

The 21th century, y'all.
The 21th century, y’all.

What is this magical cup? Is it the same holy grail that those Monty Python dudes were chasing after? No, it is not. It is a cup that turns your regular water into “active water.” What does that mean? No one knows, because that’s not a real thing. But the site claims that it will turn your dingy water crystals that look like this…


… into beautiful water crystal snowflakes that look like this!


Woah! And how does this work?! Literally nothing on the entire website tells you. But it does say this:

The device restoring the original structure of water as the ancient mother-nature had it, water activator — Active Water.

At a temperature of 30-45°C the water structure becomes so flexible that water molecules can form different compositions. This is the temperature reached by water in warm-blooded organisms (including the human body) This ensures their proper functioning. Watching the water freeze, the Japanese scientist, Dr. Masaru Emoto from I.H.M. General Research Institute in Tokyo, discovered that water samples which had been previously subjected to different stimuli formed different crystals. As if they were able to remember signals from outside: radiation, sounds, music, words, and even emotions.

Masaru Emoto, by the way, is not a real doctor. He has a “doctorate” in alternative medicine from a correspondence school. He is the same dude from the stupid documentary who claimed, erroneously, that water has feelings and its crystals get prettier when you compliment it. So maybe the cup comes with some kind of speakers or something that tell your water how nice it is looking today? That, at least, would help account for the $73 price tag.

The site also states:

Active Water technology is a maintenance-free device that does not require an additional power supply. It involves the effect of the model water on the tap water which goes through it, restoring its original hexagonal molecular structure.

Oh! Well, that just clears everything up!

According to the site, this “hexagonal” Active Water can do pretty much everything from decreasing body weight, reducing the need for insulin in diabetics, lowering your cholesterol, and fighting fatigue to (I can only assume) giving you healthier, shinier hair and mowing your lawn.

Alas — and this may shock you — “hexagonal water” is total bullshit. It’s a scam that essentially takes advantage of people’s scientific illiteracy (or disinclination to research things they are scientifically illiterate about) and sells them things that cost a ridiculous amount of money and don’t do anything. In comparison to other “hexagonal water” devices, a $73 mug is relatively cheap. This “hexagonal water maker” sells for $449 on Amazon (a steal from the original retail price of $599).

Stupidity is expensive as hell.

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