The Jehovah’s Witnesses are teaching children how to properly use emojis when texting. Because if they don’t listen to the Governing Body, then they might accidentally flirt with somebody!
What’s really incredible about the worksheet posted at JW.org is that they really believe there are young people out there who don’t know the difference between a smiley face and kissing lips.
For example, suppose you wanted to text a good friend, “Sorry you’re having a tough day. I hope things get better.” What emojis would go with it?
Why the hell would anyone use that when talking to a friend…?
Well, they won’t anymore now that the Witnesses have set us straight. (Thanks, Jehovah!) It’s a good thing, too. The worksheet points out that “flirting can ruin friendships and cause unnecessary drama.” As if that’s a foregone conclusion because sending the wrong emoji will lead to utter chaos.
Good thing we avoided that disaster.