I can’t believe this is a story.
On Thursday’s episode of Dr. Phil, Haley, a belligerent teenager who gained 22 pounds over the past year, claims she’s nine months pregnant (even though six pregnancy tests came out negative).
She insists the baby is kicking (even though no one else can feel it).
Oh. One more thing: Haley insists her baby is Jesus.
“My family, my friends, my pastors at church, they don’t believe that I’m pregnant,” Haley says. “I know it’s Jesus. I don’t care if my family disowns me. It really comes down to if you’re a true believer in Jesus or not … I don’t care what the home pregnancy test or a doctor says, when I give birth to my baby, no one is going to deny him because he’s my savior.”
Her mother Kristi insists Haley’s not pregnant, calling her “delusional” and a “compulsive liar.”
“The first time I heard her say that, she actually was saying it was Jesus Christ in her stomach. I looked at her like she had lost her mind,” Kristi says. “She was just going off into a delusional tailspin.”
Perhaps my favorite exchange in the episode, at least based on the clips, is this one:
DR. PHIL: … Tell me, Haley, do you feel tension in your family right now?
DR. PHIL: And tell me what the tension’s about, in your view.
Let me help you out, Phil: SHE THINKS SHE’S GIVING BIRTH TO JESUS CHRIST.
Somehow, he just glosses over that whole detail… however, we’re told that Haley will receive an ultrasound for the show, which should settle the matter once and for all.
Is she really pregnant?
Is Haley the vessel through which Jesus will return to Earth?
I can’t find the remote… someone please change the channel… where’s the goddamn remote?!
We’ll find out all those answers tomorrow on a very special episode of Dr. Phil.
(Thanks to Kimberlee for the link)