My Summary of the Bible… in 10 Tweets October 13, 2016

My Summary of the Bible… in 10 Tweets

This is a guest post written by David G. McAfee. He is author, most recently, of The Book of Gods.

I’m an atheist who enjoys some of the stories from the Bible, and I know a lot of other non-believers who do as well, but there’s no denying that the fables from the Old and New Testament can get pretty tedious.


These texts can be boring for two reasons:

1) The stories were written a long time ago, meaning their messages are often no longer applicable. You’d think a Divine and Perfect Creator-God would inspire a text that is relevant over a long-term timeline, but that’s not what we find with the Bible.

2) Religious tales seem to go on forever. Did you know the King James Version of the Bible has about 783,137 words? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

When I was a kid, and my grandparents gave me my first Children’s Bible, I really loved the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors. In this narrative, Joseph’s father gave him a special coat that made his brothers jealous. The story goes on and Joseph’s brothers plan to kill him before ultimately dropping him into a pit. They later sold Joseph for 20 pieces of silver, dipped the coat in goat’s blood, and presented it to their father as if he had been torn apart by wild beasts. Ultimately (and with God’s help), Joseph is granted control over the families’ food distribution. A great story for children, right? Not really. But what about this?


Whether you genuinely want to learn more about the Bible or you just want to laugh at some of the stories, these 10 modernized Twitter summaries may be for you.

1) Genesis 1:1–2:3, the Creation narrative:


2) 2 Kings 2:23-25, in which bears maul children:


3) The Book of Job:


4) 1 Samuel 17 and 18, about David and Goliath:


5) Genesis 5:32-10:1, about Noah’s flood:


6) Genesis 19:30-36, about Lot and his daughters:


7) Genesis 11, about the Tower of Babel:


8) Jonah 1-4, about Jonah and the “Great Fish”:


9) The Virgin Birth of Jesus:


10) Revelation 19:11-20, about the End Times:


I would love to see your own #TweetABibleStory ideas in the comments!


David G. McAfee is a Religious Studies graduate, journalist, and author of The Book of Gods, The Belief Book, Mom, Dad, I’m an Atheist: The Guide to Coming Out as a Non-believer, and Disproving Christianity and other Secular Writings. He is also a frequent contributor to American Atheist Magazine. McAfee, who writes about science, skepticism, and faith, attended University of California, Santa Barbara and graduated with bachelor’s degrees in English and Religious Studies with an emphasis on Christianity and Mediterranean religions.

(Images via Shutterstock)

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