While many Republicans across the land are running scared from Donald Trump — perhaps out of fear that they’re going to look real stupid trying to ban sexual education after helping elect someone who advocates grabbing women “by the pussy” — Rep. Louie “king crab legs” Gohmert (R-TX) is standing by his man.
In a Fox News interview on Tuesday, Gohmert explained that the kind of lewd comments Trump made during his boys time with Billy Bush (who, by the way, is a cousin of George W. Bush) was the natural result of the bad influence of one Bill Clinton. A rebel who will never ever be any good.
It was Clinton, he claims, who lured the sweet, innocent Trump into his sordid world of hot jazz music and loose women — of the variety that enjoy having their pussies grabbed by slimy rich dudes.
BUT THEN, coincidentally, just as he was about to run on the Republican ticket for President of the United States, Trump broke out of this hazy fog and magically became a devout Christian, who would never say those kinds of things. Sure, he’d spend hours in the middle of the night demanding people watch the “sex tape” of a Miss Universe he called fat, but his pussy grabbin’ days were over. Because JESUS.
“Trump has said some things that are very vile back when he was supporting people like Bill Clinton. But if you’re Bill Clinton’s big buddy like he was at one time, you’re going to talk like Bill Clinton. And I think we need to forgive him for talking like big Democrats like Clinton and other foulmouthed people. Now he’s a Republican. James Dobson tells me he’s become a Christian. And so, look, we forgive him for the past because he’s asked for it.”
Ah, so this means that literally anything Trump has done with his life prior to this year totally doesn’t count, because he found Jesus. How convenient. At least we know that good, god-fearing Christians never cheat on their wives, get caught up in seedy sex scandals, or regularly say totally abhorrent things about women, gay people, and others.
(via Raw Story)