Last Sunday in Oklahoma City, comedian Lewis Black read a letter written by someone who officially resigned from the Mormon Church. A video of that reading was uploaded on Thursday, where it’s been viewed more than 300,000 times on Facebook alone.
Now we know who’s behind that letter.
His name is [redacted], he’s been an atheist for two years, and he submitted his resignation to the Mormon Church on midnight of November 4, the day he turned 18. One of the ways he celebrated was to share his frustration with Lewis Black.
It helps to know that on Black’s latest tour, he’s inviting people to submit their own rants about anything. At the end of the show, he reads one of them out loud. (Another one this week was about fantasy football.) At his friend’s encouragement, Trevor submitted his own and then tuned into the livestream that evening. He had no idea if his rant would be selected.
When Lewis announced, “If you’re a Mormon you may not want to listen,” I knew immediately that it was my rant. I sat in disbelief as I watched from my living room and I was ecstatic to see both Lewis’ reaction and the reaction of the audience. I was not expecting a round of applause following my reference to The Book of Mormon musical and the threat of the removal of the church’s tax exempt status under the Carter Administration.
Trevor also had some advice for anyone else thinking about leaving the Church:
I would tell other Mormons who are contemplating leaving the church to NOT procrastinate when it comes to their doubts. I encourage them to explore their doubts even if it is discouraged by Church leaders. It’s best to deal with doubts ASAP, before being in a long term commitment for the Church — such as serving a mission or a temple marriage. I would not advise young Mormons, particularly those in Utah, who are living with their parents to resign while living with them. I say this because the reaction of their parents can be unpredictable. I would definitely discourage those going to an LDS school such as BYU to not officially resign, because that could effect their education and status as a student there.
To Mormons who plan on resigning I would recommend that they give their resignation letter to their bishop directly because, at least in my case, it expedited the process. At any rate, I would like to let them know that there is a HUGE support community when they leave and that there is life after the Mormon Church.
And with that, here’s his full rant:
I am 18 years old and I just resigned from the Mormon Church, which probably makes me the youngest person to resign from it. I have wanted to resign since October of last year, but I was told I couldn’t because I was still a minor. Which I thought was a pretty weak argument because I was baptized when I was 8, which is considered the age of accountability. Which meant I had to wait 8 years after I had reached the age of reason to legally resign. Don’t even try and go through that logic with me.
Four years ago, I would never have imagined that I was going to leave the Church. In fact, I thought that I would be preparing to serve a mission at this point. I loved the analogy that ex-Mormon and National Correspondent for The New Republic Walter Kirn made about serving a mission: “There’s a difference between eating McDonald’s hamburgers and having to sell them.”
Anyways, my birthday was on [redacted], the day before they came out with their new policy on the membership status of children of married same sex couples. Which I won’t even get to because…. Well, um… Yeah no, I’m not even going there because I want to live to finish this rant and actually see my resignation processed. This was the very Church that institutionalized racism in both policy and scripture.
It’s no coincidence that the “prophet” of the church “received revelation” about the membership status of blacks the same week President Jimmy Carter threatened the Church’s tax exempt status in 1978. It was like that time they threw polygamy under the bus, when the federal government said, “No, we don’t do that here,” and rejected their application for statehood. The fact they disavowed polygamy didn’t make a difference demographically, because the people in Utah and in other Mormon families across the country CONTINUE TO FUCK LIKE RABBITS!!!
This is the same Church that institutionalizes homophobia and continues to outwardly demonstrate how bigoted it is. Remember Prop 8, yeah I know… UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!
I would like to see where the $20 million they spent on Prop 8 are now. Did they magically make their way to the official bank of Planet Kolob?
Let’s look at some of their doctrine to try and make sense of all the madness…
A young man’s penis is his “little factory”? Okay, I know what you’re thinking. A leader of the Church ACTUALLY referred to a young man’s penis as his “little factory” in an anti-masturbation sermon. Yes, the same people that taught that “masturbation makes you gay” said that.
Dark skin is a curse? Native Americans are the lost Twelve Tribes of Israel? Jesus wants me for a sunbeam only if my parents aren’t gay?
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?!?! FUCK YOU!
FUCK The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and all of your lily white asses!
FUCK YOU Thomas S. Monson!
FUCK you wannabe “prophets,” “seers,” “apostles,” and “revelators,” OR WHAT EVER THE FUCK!!!
FUCK YOU Graham L. Mitchell for calling me a lunatic! Last time I checked you are
the one that believes in wearing magic underwear, and getting your own planet when you die, as well as Jackson County, Missouri being the location of the Garden of Eden. If that’s not lunacy, I don’t know what the FUCK is!!!!
FUCK The Book of Mormon! (Not to be confused with the phenomenal Broadway musical.)
FUCK YOU and the bigoted horse you all rode in on.
… and FUCK YOU TOO Mitt Romney!
I can now sleep in on Sunday morning and drink coffee. The possibilities are endless because I DON’T GIVE A FUCK about how the Mormon Church says I should live MY life! I
sleep well at night, knowing that when I wake up in the morning, the Mormon church will be just as much of a hysterical fraud as it was when I went to bed the night before.
I can do WAY BETTER for 10% of my income.
In closing, I would like to modify Richard Nixon’s infamous quote, “I am not a Mormon, bitch.”
Everyone bow down to our new master.
(Slight edits were made to the emailed comments for clarity.)