A lot of people have been sending me this image of a Christian ministry’s vehicle… for a very obvious reason:
They are seriously named “Touch ‘Em All Ministries.” TEAM is a group “dedicated to sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with participants at sporting events.”
It’s easy to make jokes about the name — I’ve come up with seven while writing this post — but I figured it’d be more interesting to give them a call to see if they could explain the thought process behind it.
I mean, someone had to say to them, “This might be a bad idea…,” right?
I didn’t record it, but we just got off the phone, and this is a pretty close reenactment of how our conversation went:
TEAM: Hello?
Me: Hi! This is Hemant from FriendlyAtheist.com. I saw this image floating around the Internet and I was wondering: How did you all come up with your name?
TEAM: That’s the name God gave it.
Me: Sure… but someone had to fill out the paperwork at some point. Who did that?
TEAM: Ask God. He has all the answers.
Me: That really doesn’t tell me anything.
TEAM: Yes it does.
Me: …
TEAM: Who are you again?
Me: Hemant from Friendly Atheist. I’m seriously trying to understand where the ministry’s name came from.
TEAM: You’ll have to speak with someone else.
Me: Not a problem. Who should I talk to?
TEAM: God.
Me: *sigh*… God told me to talk to you.
TEAM: Is that right?
Me: Totally. He sent me to your website. I got the number and gave you a call.
TEAM: Well, I’m glad he sent you to our website.
Me: And who am I speaking with?
TEAM: Bob.
Me: Do you have a last name, Bob?
TEAM: Ask God. That’s all you’re gonna get from me.
Me: …
TEAM: [Hangs up]
If someone has God’s number, let me know. Maybe I can get a straight answer from Him.
