Here’s a great way to make a news clip go viral:
Invite a Muslim theologian on your show to explain what kind of sex is forbidden (“haram”) in the faith.
Listen carefully as he rattles off his list: Anal sex. Sodomy. And finally: “Oral sex in advanced dimensions.”
(You don’t have to understand the language to make sense of the clip. Just watch host Pelin Çift‘s reactions.)
Pelin Cift, presenting her show late Friday on state-run television’s main channel TRT 1, kept a straight face as theologian Ali Riza Demircan explained what sexual practices were “haram” (forbidden) for Muslims under Islam.
But already trying not to laugh, she could no longer restrain herself when Demircan went on to declare in the same monotone that “oral sex in advanced dimensions” between couples was also “haram”.
Cift collapsed into laughter with her hand pressed to her face, much to the astonishment of Demircan who said: “Pelin, sister, you had been talking so comfortably. But now you can’t even ask a question!”
No wonder. “Oral sex in advanced dimensions” sounds less like intercourse and more like the best reason to study Physics…
There is a way to overcome the sin, though. Just ask this guy on Twitter, who was kind enough to share his wife’s solution to the problem of oral sex:
biricik eşimin yardımlarıyla ileri derecede oral seks illetinden bu yolla kurtuldum. tavsiye ederim… pic.twitter.com/sWuRdf1YEl
— aytek (@aytek__) July 11, 2015
Just to be clear, Demircan appeared to be speaking about sex acts between spouses during Ramadan… but I have to believe Islam also forbids them during other times of the year, and certainly with non-married couples.
It’s not the first time a Muslim theologian on a Turkish TV show has become a laughingstock. Just this past May, another scholar said masturbating was a sin and that men who did the deed would finds their hands pregnant in the afterlife.
(via Sean McGuire)