This may be the most depressing thing I’ve read in a long time.
It starts out great, though. A Christian woman fell in love with her best friend (another woman) during college. True love. “Soul mate” love.
… It wasn’t a “butterflies in the stomach” kind of love. It was a ‘You are my person” kind of love. The, “Whatever life throws at us, I want it to be with you,” kind of love. And life threw a lot at us. I would have gladly spent every minute of the rest of my days with her. I loved her certainly no less than someone loves their spouse. We had shared 8 years of friendship as well as the same home and the same pets (read: children). We had worked together, gone to school together, eaten all our meals together, traveled the world together, and shared all our deepest thoughts with each other.
That’s beautiful. That’s the sort of love we all hope we can experience one day.
You probably know where this is going by now: A lesbian relationship is forbidden by her conservative Christian faith, so she had to make a decision. Does she follow her heart… or throw away that relationship to appease her invisible friend?
In our Narrator’s case, she ended the relationship:
… I had been worshipping her instead of God for a long time. It was subtle at first, then overt. Sure, our friendship had started out as one that honored God. Did I mention that we met on a mission trip? — but in the end, it had become the devil’s play thing.
Her religion warped her mind to the point where a loving blissful relationship was seen as the work of the Devil.
Her obviously-insignificant other happily went on to find love elsewhere. But that doesn’t mean the Narrator has stopped thinking about what could have been:
It’s been 7 years since I’ve seen her. I still dream about her all the time, and when I wake up she isn’t here. Truth be told, some days that still really aches. She’s married now with a beautiful daughter, and continues to trust in Christ. Really, I couldn’t ask for more because God didn’t give up on either of us, and I look forward to the holy restoration that heaven will offer us one day.
That’s… really fucking sad. Breakups are hard enough as is. Breakups when you’re both really happy? You need Jesus to do that sort of damage.
But don’t fret. The Narrator couldn’t be happier that she threw away the love of her life:
Friends, I wonder where I’d be today if those around me were accepting of the choices we were making. What if my church would have embraced us, even married us?
Um… then you’d probably be really happy and everything in your life would be incredible because you’re spending it with someone you love?
Nope. Wrong answer. Instead of finding joy in the only life she’ll ever get, the Narrator tossed that aside in favor of happiness in a non-existent afterlife.
To be clear, it’s ultimately her decision and her delusions. If this is the path she’s chosen, I don’t really care.
But telling other gay and lesbian couples that they should go down the same path? That’s just despicable. If you’re in a happy same-sex relationship, don’t end it just because you think Jesus wants to see you lonely — or intimate only with people you’re not really attracted to. That’s just horrible relationship advice.
If that’s not sad enough, check out the comments, most of which are congratulating her on ending a wonderful partnership to avoid invoking the wrath of God.