The Seven Words You Can Never Say in a Fundamentalist Christian School February 3, 2015

The Seven Words You Can Never Say in a Fundamentalist Christian School

Jonny Scaramanga attended a fundamentalist Christian school where there were certain words he wasn’t allowed to say.

Not curse words, mind you. Not George Carlin-esque words that would get bleeped on television. We’re talking normal, everyday words he was punished for uttering.

Like the word “lucky”:

Certain preachers we knew claimed that ‘luck’ came from the same root word as ‘Lucifer’, which, according to tradition, was Satan’s name before he fell from heaven. So when you wished someone good luck, you were actually wishing the devil upon them.

Of course, if any of us had bothered to look in a dictionary, we would have known that this is nonsense, but then if we were the sort of people who went in for checking facts, we wouldn’t have been at an Accelerated Christian Education school in the first place. In any case, even if I had discovered that the dictionary gave different etymologies for luck and Lucifer, I wouldn’t have changed my mind. I was so brainwashed I believed that the devil probably manipulated the dictionary writers so his cunning ploy wouldn’t be exposed to the world.

We were not lucky. We were blessed.

Bonus points to anyone who can use all seven words in a single sentence for Ultimate Blasphemy!

(Image via Shutterstock)


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