Teens Will Totes Relate to a Bible Written Like This December 30, 2014

Teens Will Totes Relate to a Bible Written Like This

Mallory Ortberg at The Toast replaced the words “Thou Shalt Not” in the Bible with “can u not”… and the whole book instantly became more relatable:

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Exodus 20:14
“Adultery: can u not.”

2 Kings 6:22
“And he answered, can u not smite them?”

Matthew 7:1
“can u not judge, lest ye be judged.”

I hope she does a follow-up in which she replaces all the “begats” with “jizzed into existence.”

(Image via Shutterstock)


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