Duggar Family Sex Tips December 1, 2014

Duggar Family Sex Tips

Given the “side hug” and abstinence before marriage, the New Yorker‘s Paul Rudnick informs us of other Christian sex tips inspired by the Duggar family:

THE MISSIONARY POSITION

This is perhaps the most satisfying sexual maneuver, because the wife remains in America while the husband serves as a missionary along the Amazon. Both parties receive erotic pleasure from choppy long-distance telephone conversations, in which the only understandable words are “prayer,” “antibiotic gel,” and “I’ve finally persuaded the entire tribe to wear cargo shorts and culottes, so there’s no more of that flippity-floppity.”

THE THREEWAY

An advanced technique, in which a mom and her two grown daughters secretly discuss divorcing their husbands, until orgasm.

There are others where that came from… and, sadly, they all seem pretty accurate.

(Image via Shutterstock)

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