This is the Fastest Way to Read the Bible

Redditor Cabbagetroll created a “too long; didn’t read” version of the Bible:

GENESIS
God: All right, you two, don’t do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
Satan: You should do the thing.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
God: What happened!?
Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
God: Guys

THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT
God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.
People: We won’t do the things.
God: Good.
People: We did the things.
God: Guys

It goes on from there…

(via Kottke. Image via Shutterstock)