The Bible Would Be So Much Better with Updates… November 17, 2014

The Bible Would Be So Much Better with Updates…

In the latest issue of the New Yorker, Megan Amram shows us what the Bible would look like with software-like updates.

Because Version 1.0 just isn’t cutting it anymore:

VERSION 6.0: Homosexuality-compatible. Homosexual colors added back (sea-foam green, fire-engine red).

6.1 Eve now known as Steve.

6.2 “Original Sin” glitch fixed; basic human goodness implied.

6.3 “Bad Things Happen to Good People” bug still presents problems. “Marijuana” patch now allows program to function until solution is found.

6.4 Fish removed owing to climate-change bug: whitefish, sea bass. “Fish” expansion pack: nuclear-mutated fatty tuna.

6.5 “Black people” now known as “people.”

6.6 “Gay people” now known as “people.”

6.7 “Sodom” now known as “West Hollywood.”

And, like most software, it’ll become obsolete before long. Hopefully.

(Illustration via Shutterstock)


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