And the Lord spoke, and said, “Yea, these are the commandments of the Lord thy God. Keep them holy that you might find favor in his sight.
“First, thou shalt abstain from wearing the garment called Spanx, for it is immodest, and an offense to the sight of the Lord.
“And neither shalt thou wear ‘skinny jeans,’ for it is pleasing to the eyes of homosexuals, but an abomination in the sight of the Lord thy God. Amen.”
Maybe my translation is slightly off there, but recently surfaced comments, purportedly made by Anthony Morris III, a member of the Jehovah’s Witness Governing Body, certainly mirror that spirit:
Telling men that “the homosexuals” are designing skinny jeans because “they’d like you in tight pants,” the speaker declares that wearing such tight clothes is
… not appropriate. It’s not of sound mind.
Women are also cautioned about wearing “skin tight” exercise clothes (mistakenly referred to as the undergarments Spanx). Jehovah’s Witness women are warned,
“[D]on’t go out in public like that [wearing tight exercise clothes] and say you worship the true God.”
I’m pretty sure that makes God the toughest fashion critic of all time: he’ll disown you (which, presumably, entails eternal damnation) for wearing something he doesn’t like.
(via Cedars. Thanks to Laura for the link)