If an Evangelical Christian Wrote the Harry Potter Series, It’d Look Like This… September 24, 2014

If an Evangelical Christian Wrote the Harry Potter Series, It’d Look Like This…

We all know the problem with the Harry Potter series: It promotes witchcraft.

But one Christian mother, Grace Ann, found a solution to that. She wrote Harry Potter fanfiction that doesn’t involve witchcraft and wizardry at all. Instead, in her version, Harry’s on a journey to become a Christian…

Check out this scene where Hagrid (the good Christian) comes to rescue Harry from his (wicked atheist) aunt and uncle for the first time:

Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry’s young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, “Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. Haven’t you heard of Evolution? I have a very good textbook on Evolution that I could give you on it if you would like to learn things.”

Hagrid laughed wisely. “Evolution is a fairytale. You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Yes, I do!” Aunt Petunia screeched.

“Well then prove it!”

Aunt Petunia could only stare at him; and her big mouth hung open dumbly. Here she thought she was so educated; and always demanded that Christians prove what they believed in; but she couldn’t even prove her own religion. It was then that Harry knew who the smart one here was!

This is *so* much better than Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality… and it goes on for seven glorious chapters.

I don’t know if it’s supposed to be satirical (Harry Poe-tter?)… but I don’t care. Bring on the movie version! It’s not like Kevin Sorbo has anything better to do.

(Image via s_bukley / Shutterstock.com. Thanks to Brian for the link)

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