5 Lessons from a Christian Counting Workbook May 25, 2014

5 Lessons from a Christian Counting Workbook

Some advice for PR people: If you send me an email asking me if I want to review Bible workbooks for preschoolers, and you never bother to Google my name, then I’m going to say “Yes. Yes I do.”

So here are five things I learned from this biblical counting book:

  1. Apparently, there’s no way even one pair of animals could have fit on Noah’s Ark.
  2. Lepers are the happiest people *ever*… also, leprosy doesn’t affect your face…. also, lepers are mummies.
  3. Someone at this company thinks there’s a reason to count 17 suns. And the Bible verse at the top wrongly suggests that the moon gives off its own light when it, in fact, reflects light from the sun. (Or one of the 17 suns, anyway…)
  4. Noah can barely fit in his own Ark. (How the hell are any of the animals supposed to get on there, much less the rest of his family?)
  5. Christian Sudoku is really boring.

You know, not everything has to be reinforced by Scripture…

Though if you’re going to teach children biblical math, you might as well introduce them to the concept of imaginary numbers.

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