Suppose you run a fast food company and you wanted to put up a new restaurant. Or you run a grocery store chain and wanted to construct a new building. If you’re near Cumming, Georgia, you might contact a group like Christian Brothers Inc. General Contractors because construction is what they do.
Also, they really, really love Jesus:
Christian Brothers, Incorporated. (CBI) General Contractors has been in business since February 1999. The founding partners, Steve Head and Chip Evans, started CBI with the goal of becoming a premier commercial builder whose business would be centered on their relationship with Jesus Christ and with people.
Steve and Chip are indeed brothers in Christ Jesus and when they began in 1999 with just one superintendent, Frank Bradley, they aimed at keeping Christ at the center. As a matter of fact, they consider Jesus their third partner. The three partners (Steve, Chip & Jesus) are represented by the three circles of the CBI logo. The red circle represents Jesus and the blood that He shed for the sins of the world and our redemption.
Okay… a little odd, but that’s their thing, I guess.
So then I went to check out the Partners, the people who manage the company, and guess who’s at the top of the list?
Wait… Jesus has a resume?
This, I gotta see…
Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13,
Website: The Bible.
Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
Yes, his address is a Bible verse that says Jesus is seated at the right hand of God in Heaven. His phone number is the Bible verse that reads, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (which doesn’t even make sense…).
For some reason, his resume includes keywords.
And his website isn’t even a website. In fact, later on, under “Major Accomplishments,” it reads, “There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot — the BIBLE. You don’t need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.”
That’s… not even a complete URL… *face psalm*
Anyway, I have no idea if the company is a good one or not. Maybe Jesus just holds all the buildings up with his magical powers. But the website only convinced me that these guys are more interested in promoting their religion than the work that they do. Maybe that’s a net positive in the South, but it’s not a very promising sign for a company that wants to expand beyond that.