Creation Museum’s ‘Ark Park’ in Danger of Collapse After Risky Bonds Go Unsold

I’m glad it’s going down the toilet. Nobody in their right mind in the investment world would make this part of someone’s portfolio unless they want to be fired for incompetence.

Fiscal responsibility has an anti-christian bias, apparently.

I don’t get it, really. Ken Ham want’s to build a replica of the ark and I assume an exact replica since it would demonstrate his argument about how some dino critters could fit in it. Here’s an interesting question. Why doesn’t he do it the way Noah did? A few tools and some tar and some wood and his whole family. If Noah did it without…ahem bonds. Ken could do it too? Come to think of it building the ark nearly 6000 years ago didn’t cost millions. Just good ol’ fashioned faith and a big nearby forest for building material. Even is he manages to build it how do the Brachiosauruses get onboard? You’re talking two 60 ton animals along with food for these two for 40 days and then there is the problem of who will clean up their waste and also their need to move around. I’m sure that 120 tons of weight shifting would move the boat considerably.

God decided to flood the world because everyone bought Obamacare….except Noah. He built an ark! It’s better than Obamacare.

This is the main reason he’s doing the debate with Nye. Publicity and a chance to fund raise. Whatever the outcome he’ll spin it his way and try to rile up his followers and fleece their pockets.

“From atheists attempting to register for the bond offering and
disrupting it, to secular bloggers and reporters writing very misleading
and inaccurate articles about the bonds…”

If I had known that being an atheist gave me super-powers strong enough to thwart the will of a god, I would have converted a long time ago.

They should just pray for the funding.

Maybe it’s like the Tardis… bigger on the inside. 🙂

It seems he/she/it so often does.

I think I’m gonna start responding to christian fables with nerdy D&D equivalents.

From this point forward I shall refer to “Noah’s Ark” as a “Boat of Holding”.

well, according to the detailed and thorough analysis on AiG (based on data in Genesis, and Genesis, with additional supporting information from Genesis) it took about 60 years to build the Ark. So, Ham shouldn’t be so impatient, Noah didn’t need junk bonds. Maybe the Lord will suffer him live to be 950 like Noah.

And it makes you wonder about this Lord. “Go gather all that gopherwood, and build this boat. It’ll take you about 60 years; then you can start on the animals. When you’re done I’ll make it rain for 40 days. In, um, yeah, 60 years from now. So let’s go over this plan again: (1) Noah: 60 years, build ark; Lord: playing golf; not thinking about other possible plans not involving genocide. (2) Noah: gathering animals. Let’s put down one year for that. What? OK, Two? Two. Lord: probably, um, heli-skiing. But with firm resolve. (3) Milestone: all critters on Ark. Then, (4) Noah: 40 days of boat captainry, keeping animals fed; shovelling crap overboard. Lord: 40 days of rain. OK then, can you go ahead and do this, and meet that milestone? I gotta know that you can do your part in My Plan. Also, you’re going to want to get some insect repellent. Imagine the deerflies once you’re the only boat on the water. And you have both of the deer”.

Oh, don’t worry. I hear Bill Nye is going to help them do some fundraising.

There was a ride at Disneyland in the seventies called Inner Space. Cars and their passengers were shrunk to microscopic size so that they could ride inside a human body. I went on that ride many times. So, if Disney could do that, couldn’t that have been a feature on the original ark?

You misspelled “prey”!

Came here to say this. At the debate he’ll try and use it to get as much publicity as he can from Christians so they can help fund this.

Thanks, Bill.

Though I’d bet that’s Ham’s motivation, I am starting to doubt that it’ll play quite the way he hopes. If the True and Faithful aren’t already tripping over themselves to fund this project, I doubt that Nye will be quite the “atheist enemy” needed to circle the wagons around that drain.

“Fuck ‘Burning Man’! Come to ‘Burning Ark: 2015.”

Venue Opens: July 5th, 8:00am.
Ceremonial Lightning of the Ark: July 8th, 9:00pm.
End of Festivities: Probably some time in September, or the next heavy rain, whichever comes first.

Fire… burn it with fire.

What do you wanna bet that the $27 mil has been long spent? Fundraising is expensive, and ziplines don’t grow on trees.

They have no choice; they have nothing to pay off the bonds unless the park is both built and becomes wildly popular beyond anyone but Ken Ham’s expectations. They’re running the same scam as The Producers, only they’re being upfront that they’re not going to pay anyone back.

That’s exactly what I’m assuming. I’m looking forward to seeing a lot of delusional Xians finding out what a bad investment they made, and Ham having to file for bankruptcy, or maybe going to jail for fraud. I’d wager some of that money may have gone to…dubious ends.

Agreed. They could pledge park receipts, but if that doesn’t pan out (which is all but certain, especially with annual declines in visitors), goodbye park.

GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! it RAINED for 40 days. it took another 110 days for the water to recede. they’d have to feed the animals and put up with all that animal shit for 150 days.

…and your dog!

And most of those animals eat other animals, so you’d also need at least 149 days of food, and fresh water, for the animals that later become food. And a lot of those animals eat insects, and insects also need food, so now we’re into food for the food that will also be food, and it just spirals out of control from there.

That’s why I’m going with the “Boat of Holding” hypothesis from now on. Noah was no servant of Jehovah, he was an epic level lich that destroyed the world.

“Will you please step out in faith with us?”

How many elderly true believers’ life savings will step away with Ken?

Someone needs to write a book teaching the believers how to spot the vultures
that sustain themselves feeding off of them. Too often victims wind up shell shocked and crying, “…But he seemed like a such a good Christian man”.

Roll 12D against bond recall.

Ken Ham want’s to build a replica of the ark and I assume an exact replica

No, he can’t even manage that. Ham’s ark, should it ever be built, will never come near water. It will stand immobile and supported on dry land, never subject to any appreciable amount of stress. Also, you can bet the hull will be held together with bolts, screws and metal plates, in contrast to the wood wedges and bronze spikes which were state of the art in shipbuilding around the time of fictional Noah.

Maybe if he had Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell as spokespersons…

They’re boiling over with me. All the tax dollars being wasted on his lies. I hope it all fails.

He could bunk with Kent Hovind.

Maybe… they’ll say atheists have infiltrated Standards and Poors and all the credit evaluation agencies *just* to prevent good honest Christians from getting capital to finance winning ventures.

ziplines don’t grow on trees.

How do you think they got there? Next you’ll be telling us that Mt. Rushmore was sculpted.

There’s another partially built ark along I-68 in Maryland. I think I saw the beginning of it in the late 1970s, before construction of 68 began.

I heard an anecdote today that Willie Nelson and Roger Miller were riding in a car and saw a beautiful sunset. Roger turned to Willie and said, “Imagine what God could do if he had money!”

I love that explanation! currently giggling madly

I think Ham is running into a bit of reality that he can’t wrap his mind around (I know, nothing new for him). The rich Christians aren’t stupid enough to invest bonds that risky, and there aren’t but so many of them anyways. The simple majority of Christians are poor who have no money to purchase such things, and the remaining middle-class Christians are becoming increasingly tapped-out due to corporate America continuing to take their bite out of the economy for the past decade.

Forgive me, I couldn’t help myself…
“So who would win in a fight: Mordenkainen or Jesus?”
“Heck, Tenser came back from the dead by his own powers. Big whoop.”
“Sure Jesus cast ‘Raise Dead’, but wouldn’t ‘Blade Barrier’ to keep the Romans away have been way cooler? Or at least Holy Smite?”
“Send demon-pigs into the sea? Without cutting them open to check for swallowed treasure!?!”
“Power Word: Creation” Conjuration (creation) Level: Epic (divine)
“Believe in an empty tomb? Heck, who’s ever seen a tomb without undead.”
“Why’s everybody in the party a male, human Cleric? And with no favored weapons?! One of us is gonna die for sure.”
“Hair cutting really shouldn’t have prevented him from raging. It must have hurt his ability to have a morale bonus. Or he didn’t know the rules, which makes sense because who uses improvised weapons against hordes?”
“I am so not taking Leadership if they can just betray me like that.”
“Elisha must have have Extend Spell because them bears lasted at least 21 rounds each.”
“Hah, Devil thought Jesus would fall for the ‘Divine casters can cast Feather Fall in this edition’ trick.”
“Apple of Fallen Souls”
Save vs. Saltification, ooh, a ‘1’
Weapon Specialization (Sling), for the win!!
Do you think the magi were classed Magic-User, or Magus?
“Man, second edition sucks. Where’s all the AoE spells and swordfighting and people gettin’ it on? Wait, Zombie hordes and demon lords? Cool. What’s the loot like?”
I think I might start calling the NT, second edition. 🙂
Or maybe beta version & gold?

Thanks for the prompt, WoS.
Cheers.

That’s okay, Cassidy, we’ll wait for your ‘yes’.
Or ‘no’.
Or ‘maybe’.

Lots of free food for the carnivores and scavengers floating in the water. Some of it two-legged, but…

As a follower of Jesus it’s just sad that we’re still playing this creationist gig in 2014. Ham, give it up already!

Answers are in Genesis, buddy!
Ham stopped there because his brain was full.

Have you forgotten? Obama is an atheist Muslim. Also a Nazi Communist. Somehow.

In fairness, there’s evidence that God hates Ham in Genesis 9 (although he took it out on Ham’s son Canaan instead).

If I recall correctly, that was from the Isaac Asimov novel “Fantastic Voyage” or from the movie made after it. Awesome story.

That’;s a story ready to make a comeback with modern CGI

If he could get $1 from each adult US citizen that believes in young earth creationism, he would have been there already. I found a Kickstarter where one Ark project got $825 in pledges out of $1.5M. The fact that his own huge potential audience didn’t go for it suggests this project won’t work out.

also a Kenyan Socialist.

Sounds pretty good, but even the legs will wear off of that one. It’s a self-limiting proposition. Now if they add a Sodom and Gomorrah ride….

If you hide your face like Noah’s sons, you and your descendants won’t get cursed.

Don’t forget, to be authentic, the boat must be constructed using pre-iron age tools or fasteners.

Sounds like good old fashioned Pagan fun!

I thought it would be built of Styrofoam and paint.

So Australia really is that mysterious floating continent? Groovy.

There is no possible debate. Each side says the other is wrong. End of show.

Styrofoam and glue.

Yes, you filled in the blank I could not think of.

My Norwegian Lutheran grandfather never gave to missions. He always said “the heathens have their gods, they don’t need ours.” I think it was because he was super-cheap, not because he was especially enlightened.

And the answer is : Yes.

And gay crackhead.

So Noah was able to build this ark all by himself but Christians need millions of dollars?

One small problem, there was no shipbuilding technology at the supposed time of noah. Just small boats that had to stay within sight of land. Noah magically created an advanced technology just for the ark, which was then completely forgotten after the flood. (Source- a recent NCSE blog).

I am dismayed there were enough people to purchase 26.5 million dollars worth to begin with. If I was a less honest person this sounds like a great scheme to take advantage of the simple minded.

Some one needs to make a musical of this whole thing now.

That’s all? Must have gotten somebody to take over as Rob Ford’s crack dealer then…

Work with what you’ve been given. Don’t be a pig, Ham.

I want him to finish building it, so that it will be clear to all that the biblical story cannot be literally true. Having said that, I aint givin him a cent. And Haha Ken. Don’t ever come back to Australia, you epic neckbearded tool.

Even on dry land, a wooden structure of that size would be subject to considerable stress just from it’s own dead load. Once you started filling it with visitors and – presumably – animals, things would get very interesting if it were built only using the technology available to Noah. Then the headline would probably just read “Ark Collapse”.

The vestigial rudder in the picture amuses me, as it would be useless, but I’d really like to know what that thing on the bow is meant to be? I take it Noah never heard of weathercocking?

Ham needs to look at the bright side – his non-profit status is locked down & solid.

vestigial rudder

evidence of evolution?

OK, I’m not a lawyer, nor in finance.

However, as I vaguely understand, the point of disclosures (such as the 39 risks apparently listed) is compliance with federal laws intended to protect investors. Investments come with risks; but as long as the reasonably forseeable risks are put in the investment documentation, it’s considered that the would-be investor has enough information to make up their own mind whether to accept the hazard to their investment principal.

Ken Ham appears to be blaming the failure at least in part on atheist bloggers publishing disparaging and (allegedly) misleading information about the project and/or bond investment “opportunity”. However, given Ken Ham’s worldview and history of interaction with the atheist community, should he not have considered this a reasonably forseeable hazard? Was this one of the 39 risks enumerated?

And, if “atheist bloggers may mock the project to death” was not enumerated, does Ham’s public statement count as an admission that gives rise to either civil or criminal cause of action over failure to disclose a reasonably forseeable risk?

How come they don’t have one old guy just build it alone? I mean, that’s how you build a boat that big right? I read it in a history book but I can’t remember the name of it. But if its in a book, it can’t be wrong!