This Guy’s Running for Elected Office in Texas, So He Just Trashed Atheists in His Latest Campaign Ad December 24, 2013

This Guy’s Running for Elected Office in Texas, So He Just Trashed Atheists in His Latest Campaign Ad

Sid Miller, a Texas Republican running to become the state’s Agriculture Commissioner, has to beef up his conservative credentials, so he just released a holiday campaign ad that includes a jab at atheists. Because I guess that’s how you get elected as a Republican in Texas.

Howdy, folks. This is your conservative candidate, Sid Miller, running for Texas Agriculture Commissioner. To all my Christian brothers and sisters out there, I’d like to wish you a merry Christmas.

To all my Jewish friends, I hope you had a happy Hanukkah.

And to all folks out there that are atheists [pause], goooood luck.

Merry Christmas, and have a happy, happy, happy new year.

Huh. We’re not even his friends, I see…

This is what it takes to get elected. No mention of his actual credentials for being Agriculture Commissioner (other than his ability to wear a hat). Just him using atheists as a punchline. Because that’s hilarious.

Granted, he was never gonna get our votes, anyway, but how can any candidate — even one from Texas — get away with putting down an entire group of people, even for the sake of a(n awful) joke? It’s one thing to tell that joke in church, but when you’re running to represent all the people in the state, including atheists? Despicable. Will his next campaign ad mock Hindus and Muslims?

By the way, did you see the fine print at the beginning of that ad? “Paid for by the Sid Miller campaign, Ted Nugent Treasurer.” I don’t think his conservatism is in doubt here…

(Thanks to Jeff for the link)

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  • God’s Starship

    He looks like a cartoon character.

  • Art_Vandelay

    Ha! He means because we’re going to suffer endless unimaginable torture for all of eternity! That’s hilarious!!! Well played, Miller…well played.


    Unsurprising, given that Texas Republicans ARE cartoon characters.

  • Mr Ed

    The video does allow comments if anyone is interested

  • Stonyground

    I’m not sure whether we are all being a tad touchy and over-sensitive here. The guy is probably just too ignorant to know that midwinter festivals were originally about the solstice and that this is what most atheists celebrate.

    It is also worth noting that as more atheists come out and as atheists get more and more organised, politicians will have to start taking a bit more care about alienating them. In the US atheists are still seen as an irrelevant minority which is why this guy thinks that he can get away with insulting them.

  • diogeneslamp0

    “Ted Nugent Treasurer.” Remember how creationist Ted Nugent blurted out racist comments and defended Apartheid South Africa in the 80’s? Nugent’s defense of Apartheid was based on the belief, said he, that not all men are created equal.

    What’s un-American about racism, creationism and inequality?

  • A3Kr0n

    Holy buckets, that’s a real commercial!

  • diogeneslamp0

    All hat, no cattle.

  • James

    As if we needed any more evidence that that the Christian doctrine concerning Hell is anything but a bizarre revenge fantasy conjured up by self-righteous twits.
    As I tell some believer friends of mine, if an all-powerful, all-good, all-just deity actually existed, I rather think he wouldn’t sound so much like a narrow-minded, flag waving American bigot who thinks everyone should be just like him when he allegedly speaks via a narrow-minded, flag waving American bigot; nor would an all-powerful, all-knowing deity just stand by silently when utter morons speak on its behalf without sanction.

  • Looks around, sees Texas is the mist of a major drought. Notices that longer and more serve droughts are expected with climate change. Notices a long list of invasive pests species expected in Texas because of climate change and global commerce. Notices that agricultural policies in the lower plains have been using more water than is sustainable. Notices that factory live stock farming is using antibiotics at an unsustainable rate. Notices pest plants and insect developing resistance to pesticides and herbicides.

    “And to all folks out there who are expecting a miracle hand from heaven to deliver us from these man-made problems [pause], goooood luck.”

  • I didn’t watch the commercial, but I’ll assume it ends with him randomly shooting his revolves into the air after being tricked by a rabbit, — mind you not a cartoon super-smart rabbit, but a plain ordinary regular rabbit.

  • Imagine a campaign commercial by a non-religious person who just makes a random swipe at Christians… just because.

    I don’t think I’d vote for that person either.

  • GeorgeWiman

    “No mention of his actual credentials for being Agriculture Commissioner (other than his ability to wear a hat)”

    I believe that is the qualification…

  • Jack Hillburn

    I think it’s a great idea to comment to Mr. Sid there.

  • Rob P

    Sounds like a Biblical plague from a vengeful God.

  • FirstAmongEquals

    Go to his web site (link at the top of this article) and scroll down to his endorsements which include the Tea Party and several other organizations of right wing bigotry and hate.

  • Michael

    Yes, thank him for his good wishes and offer sympathy that he doesn’t seem to know which of his friends are atheists.

  • Don Gwinn

    He honestly might have thought that “Gooood luck!” was a respectful thing to say to an atheist; it’s gospel in some circles that the average atheist will kick you square in the nuts if you mention a religious holiday when you’re trying to be nice to them.

    But what do I know? I suspected a parody and thought “Ted Nugent, Treasurer” was the giveaway, so I Googled “Ted Nugent treasurer Texas campaign.”

    I was wrong.

  • katiehippie

    Ha! I’ll have to tell that to my dad. He used to raise cows so he can relate.

  • Terry Firma

    I don’t see it as Miller putting anyone down. Sure, he’s having a little joke at our expense. It’s not exactly comedy gold (in fact, the delivery is a little embarrassing), but no need to feel attacked or wounded.

    What I want for Christmas is for everybody — everybody — to grow thicker skin. Laugh at your neighbors’ beliefs if you want (I know I do), and then let’s please allow them to do the same thing. Who knows, one of these days we may even find ourselves laughing together!

    Happy holidays!

  • Bob Jase

    If its any consolation he probably didn’t mean it when he wished the Jews a happy Hanukkah.

  • $65180697

    He’s got Jack Nicholson’s Joker’s smile, that’s for sure.

  • Howdy, folks. This is your liberal candidate, Rich Wilson, running for local Dog Catcher. To all my atheist/agnostic/freethinker/humanist/intelligent brothers and sisters out there, high five!

    To all my Buddhist friends, Peace!

    And to all folks out there who believe in the bible [pause] HAHAHAHA! Talking snakes? Child sacrifice? Really? [wipe a tear of laughter].

    Merry Rational thinking, and have a happy, happy, happy new year.

  • Katarn

    eh I dunno. There might be subtext about damnation and hell in there but “good luck” isn’t exactly menacing. There is no Atheist holiday so what other well wishing can you direct specifically at a group defined by a lack of belief in gods? Merry Solstice? It may not invoke a god but it isn’t part of being atheist either. What ever that guy looks like Warner Brothers cartoon, I just can’t take him seriously. And I’m not too worried about the whole damnation thing if that’s what hes really alluding to. I’ll take my luck in the real world.

  • Jafafa Hots

    Read the constitution.

  • Timmah

    It’s funny because a lot of people prob think this is clever and cute but when I wish people “Happy Magical Space Baby Day!” tomorrow on FB people will get their panties in a bundle.

  • Timmah

    He reminds me of the over the top stereotype Texan character on The Simpsons.

  • Reverend-Nicholas Michael Yunk

    I’m failing to see how this was a jab at atheists. He wished us good luck, whether or not he meant it, he still said it.

  • As an atheist, the only emotion I feel is contempt.

  • BoGardiner

    I don’t understand some of these comments. How could anyone fail to see the ethical problem with a political TV ad gratuitously expressing contempt for all non-Judaeo-Christians?

    It’s as if a politician in a TV ad said: “Merry Christmas to all my white friends! To black folks, well, good luck.”

    And people saying, “Oh, it’s not bad really, he didn’t use the N word,”

    Are we really that jaded to the bigotry and abuse?

  • more compost

    And to all the atheists out there, F**k You! Have a happy new year!

  • $925105

    What a hateful, bitter man. And what douche wears a cowboy hat indoors?

  • PhiWhi

    Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. So, let’s be prepared.

  • Because clearly atheists cannot celebrate a national holiday by visiting family, feasting, and exchanging gifts. Nope, belief in a deity is required…

  • Sue Blue

    In addition to trashing atheists, it is also expedient to have a pointy head to help hold your ten-gallon cowboy hat in place. But he ain’t wearing a bolo tie with a cow-horn cabochon, so he ain’t really authentic. He’ll have to do better than that to get the vote in Pecos.

  • Actually, I think he looks like J. R. Ewing in that cowboy hat.

  • Castilliano

    In theory, Everything! Jeesh!
    In practice…we’re still working on that.

  • Look at the bright side, at least he didn’t say “Happy Hanukkah you Christ killers.” on the third and final take.

  • WallofSleep

    I know this is terrible of me, but I so rarely get to use this phrase…

    He’s got a face like a madman’s ass.

  • Rod Haney

    Ahhh, whatever. He’s part of the “Old white mans club” and their majority is soon to be gone. Sadly though, not soon enough.

  • JET

    Gawd, how I wish I had the guts to post something like this on my FB.

  • Terry Firma

    Where will “feeling contempt” get you?

  • Woody Allen Jesus

    If I was eligible (UK citizen here), I would absolutely vote for you!

  • Buckley

    Well, here is why I disagree….It’s Christmas, say “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year” and then shut the fuck up. It’s a dig because he has no need to mention us during their holiday at all. I can say “Good Luck” to most Xians as well, especially at Easter when they think their Easter rabbit will come again….Good Luck. Only mine will sound like sarcasm too.

  • J.R. Robbins

    Never, ever vote for a motherfucker in a cowboy hat.

  • allein

    You mean I have to return all those red- and green-wrapped packages in my living room? :,(

  • Power

  • usclat

    If there is one silver lining in this turd’s diatribe is that we were mentioned. I doubt that even a year ago non-believers would be a part of a Xtian’s political campaign message especially one running for Agricultural Commissioner! Reason is growing, it is unstoppable and it must prevail. I think these s**tholes feel the proverbial and metaphorical noose tightening around their necks.

  • poose

    “happy, happy, happy…”
    You know he borrowed that from the Duck (D#mbsh!t) Dynasty folks, right?

    Gotta hit all the talking points. Makes we wonder if that was filmed before or after Phil did a full homophobe with a half Godwin twist at the GQ interview.

  • Intelligent Donkey

    God is punishing them because they treat gays like shit.

  • MNb

    Whenever The Nuge takes the moral high ground I’m reminded of this:

    Somebody should make candidate Miller listen to this song.

  • raerants

    It always blows my mind whenever I’m reminded that Ted Nugent was in The Amboy Dukes and did this song.

  • Birdie1986

    It’s a big state. Room for a lot of assholes.

  • Jeff

    Living here in Texas, I cannot tell you how appropriate that comment is. It’s probably the biggest bitch-slap you can put on someone down here.

  • Jeff

    It is neither bigotry OR abuse in Texas. Actually, it’s called “a sure way to get the rest of the crazy fundies to give money to your campaign”.

  • Jeff

    Since 1992, there is one more qualification other than being able to wear the hat….you have to be a bat shit-crazy, super right wing, overzealous religious Intelligent Design believing Republican.


    He’s just trying to establish his dumbshit credentials as this is a prerequisite to get elected in Texas To wit: Gohmert, Perry, Stockman, Barton, GWB, etc

  • WoodwindsRock

    He looks like a commercial car salesman to me (a lot of them around where I live tend to look like him!), so I can’t even begin to take him seriously. I just find him funny.

  • You could go with the old standard “Happy New Year.” We’re all having one of those.

  • Big Bubba

    Hey, big feller, you do realize you can’t be a Christian and a Republican, right?

  • Infidelephant

    Yeah, but he probably has plenty of sheep…

  • baal

    That “guuuuud Luck” sounded a lot like “fuuuuuuck you”.

    Nothing like vindicitveness as an attributre for an elected official.

  • Jon Doee

    We need bumper stickers for this man ASAP!

  • Jon Doee

    Ten gallon asshat

  • Drew M.

    An asshat in a hat… My brain’s a little warped by that.

  • Crowtalk

    Didn’t mean it? Hell, he’s a politician. He doesn’t know what meaning is.

  • g75401

    Blessed Yule to you as well, Sid, since we all know that xtians are actually “worshipping” the “birth” of their savior on a day appropriated from the pagans by papal decree in the 4th century CE.

  • Guest

    Not to be contrary because I agree, but the majority of Texas is out of the drought now.

  • SeekerLancer

    “Granted, he was never gonna get our votes, anyway, but how can any candidate — even one from Texas — get away with putting down an entire group of people, even for the sake of a(n awful) joke? It’s one thing to tell that joke in church, but when you’re running to represent all the people in the state, including atheists? Despicable. Will his next campaign ad mock Hindus and Muslims?”

    Well, unfortunately he doesn’t care. He’s pandering to a group that he knows is enough of a majority to get him elected. All that matters is he gets the job and slamming atheists is a safe way to get a political job in a statewide election in Texas. He doesn’t give a damn who he’s representing.

  • Most of Texas is still in a drought, although not as severe as it once was.

  • Ben Lutgens

    Ahh texas, haven of racists, homophobes, religious zealots, and war mongers.

  • Nice saying, but It seems that he is actually a farmer and rancher.

    Even supporting the 2nd amendment seems (somewhat) relevant to agriculture, since cattle rustling is big business in Texas. (Not joking.)

    But his promise to fight the EPA should automatically disqualify him. The Ag Commissioner should protect the land, not allow farmers and ranchers to rape it.

  • I’d downvote this, but it’s not THAT inaccurate that we have more of them than normal.

    Sadly, the primary system is utterly broken and leaves our elections to be hideously biased against moderates.

  • Marc Petrick

    I want to look on the bright side. 1. He has to acknowledge the growing atheist voter bloc so 2) as a Xian, that’s the nicest thing he could come up with. Thanks Sid! Good luck to you as well! And happy winter solstice!

  • Cranky Crab

    Boom! Killer post.

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